Swedish Cactus

When you grab the base of your scrotum making your testicles "pop" out of the top of your fist.

After Josh showed me his Swedish Cactus I fell madly in love with him.

by bookoute March 27, 2009

spooky cactus

A half-demon creature, created when the soul of an ancient cactus-demon from the days of plant-worship inhabits the body of a human in the here-and-now. There is only one confirmed spooky cactus in existence, believed to be hidden in the north of England. From the careful analysis of this one isolated case, we have discovered that spooky cacti are blunt, cynical, sarcastic and taunt humankind for kicks.

'The spooky cactus had awoken, and was glaring with an uncertain cactical fury at the toaster, which she could not quite decided whether or not to make the victim of flaming spiny cactuslike wrath.'

by Celestia Cloud April 21, 2005

cactus nerd

Any person with an obsessive interest in the study, collection, propagation and/or taxonomy of cacti and succulents, and possessing the ability to discuss and/or argue, ad nauseum, the finer points of each and every plant, while citing the latest peer-reviewed research.

Only a cactus nerd would travel 500 miles to look at that spiny stick.

by Johnny Cactus May 13, 2015

Cactus in a parade

Something that just doesn't belong.

What's with the share button on pornhub? I don't know man, it's a cactus in a parade man.

by Cjepson August 8, 2019

Stiff Cactus

A very slow person

Josh says he gets his weed in the mail. He is such a Stiff Cactus

by Efy17xx March 4, 2011

Cactus Snatch

A dry scratchy vagina.

I need more lube my girl has cactus snatch.

by Sharp2112 July 15, 2017

Horny Cactus

Someone who has intercourse with various people but can’t commit to a relationship for longer than a month.

You’re a horny cactus!

by Clapping Machine February 3, 2018