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spooky cactus

A half-demon creature, created when the soul of an ancient cactus-demon from the days of plant-worship inhabits the body of a human in the here-and-now. There is only one confirmed spooky cactus in existence, believed to be hidden in the north of England. From the careful analysis of this one isolated case, we have discovered that spooky cacti are blunt, cynical, sarcastic and taunt humankind for kicks.
'The spooky cactus had awoken, and was glaring with an uncertain cactical fury at the toaster, which she could not quite decided whether or not to make the victim of flaming spiny cactuslike wrath.'
by Celestia Cloud April 21, 2005
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Swedish Cactus

When you grab the base of your scrotum making your testicles "pop" out of the top of your fist.
After Josh showed me his Swedish Cactus I fell madly in love with him.
by bookoute March 27, 2009
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cactus nerd

Any person with an obsessive interest in the study, collection, propagation and/or taxonomy of cacti and succulents, and possessing the ability to discuss and/or argue, ad nauseum, the finer points of each and every plant, while citing the latest peer-reviewed research.
Only a cactus nerd would travel 500 miles to look at that spiny stick.
by Johnny Cactus May 13, 2015
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Cactus pants

(Noun) The state of having the specific length of stubble on your legs that actually causes you or someone else physical discomfort.
OMG, my cactus pants are killing me. I'm going to put on some sweats so I don't poke myself in my sleep.
by Pepper Lover July 16, 2016
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Cactus cunt

The cactus cunt is the third stage in the growth of female pubic hair. The first stage is a fuzzy peach that quickly evolves into a prickly pear. The third stage takes time, but when in full effect it can greatly hinder sexual performance.
Dave: so how was your date last night? Did you make it to third base?

Adam: I got a home run man, but my lower abs got chaffed to shit by her cactus cunt.

Dave: that's rough bro.
by Plebeian July 8, 2017
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cactus catcher

dick catcher
cactus was used in a travis song
she's a cactus catcher!!
by cactuscatcher August 22, 2017
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Cactus farmer

Slang for a man who likes prickly dicks
Hey she's hot.
I don't know man.
What are you a cactus farmer?
by Dicto long June 6, 2018
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