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Bed-listener

A person who is skilled in bed-listening rumours the negative information or sickness of any well-known celebrity or politician, only based on several figures from unknown resources. Bed-listeners often claim a celebrity to be badly ill (suffering from cancer or other severe diseases), because it seems that they comprehends the proficient skills of listening to what the target men said on their bed or even during their dreams.
In ancient China, palace maids and eunuchs are experts in bed-listening to the healthy conditions and bed stories of their monarchs.
A bed-listener says that Putin was badly sick, gripping the table to stop himself shaking so much, because he bed-listened Putin for months.
by iamshuo90 June 16, 2022
mugGet the Bed-listenermug.

Switch listener

A person gifted at switching from them listening to you to you listening to them.

Noun
1. “I tried 10 times to tell Karen about my new apartment and every time, before I even knew what had happened, we were talking about her problems with her boyfriend. I felt like I was on a bad drug or something.”

2. I know, the girl’s a natural born switch listener
by Bigfreedog July 21, 2011
mugGet the Switch listenermug.
An excuse to give your girlfriend/s.o. so you can go out and cheat with your head of HR mistress.
Works great if you're a CEO of a company.
"Hey babe, where are you? You havent been responding to my calls/texts."

"Oh baby I'm just out listening to Coldplay with the bois! I'll be back soon."
by Mrs.Nezbit2294 July 18, 2025
mugGet the Listening to Coldplay with the Boismug.
Heheheheh... Ok... I'll explain it to you. You're- It's... It's not that complicated. Alright...
A fucking dope (I mean Jesus Christ guys 🤦 ♂️) "Don't listen to Andrew Tate! Listen to Jordan Peterson!"

Hym "Ha! Hahaha! Okokok... Listen... Andrew Tate... Is a guy... Who is acting out my plan to become better than Joe Rogan... He's saying the things I'VE said... He's flooding the internet with himself like an agent Smith... You're basically listen to me... Jordan Peterson... Is re-appropriating the things I said about your religion... And directing it at 'The Woke' (because if 'leftism' is like a religion then what I said about religion ALSO applies to The Woke)... So, again, listening to ME... It's the same thing! They're doing the same thing! They're both just feeding souls to Yaweh! It's the same! You're listening to the same guy either way you fucking dolt! Except one uses his PhD as justification for being listen to and the other uses his history as a kickboxing champion... Ok. Let me put it this way... You have 2 cans filled with soda... One is a Coke can... The other is a Pepsi can... INSIDE OF THE CAN... Is piss... And what you're doing... Is drinking out of both cans and saying 'Ugh! This Coke tastes like piss! Pepsi is much better! Don't drink Coke! Drink the Pepsi!' Ok? But IT'S BOTH PISS! I'M THE PISS! I'm the piss you're drinking there! Heheheheheheh! Oh my God... I love you Andy. I love this fucking guy. I swear. He is my favorite guy in history... Ever! It's so good. I just can't believe it. Probably the greatest man who ever lived!"
by Hym Iam February 8, 2024
mugGet the Don't listen to Andrew Tate! Listen to Jordan Peterson!mug.
You’re sick, or afflicted by an illness.
X: “You’re sick if you enjoy this!”

Y: “Well, call me a Fan at a Sabrina Carpenter Listening Party!”
by CarpenterTea August 19, 2025
mugGet the Fan at a Sabrina Carpenter Listening Partymug.
Dracula’s quote to Jonathan Harker after he invites him into the castle & to dinner. This is him appreciating the howls of the wolves he controls with his powers outside.
Listen to them. Children of the Night. What music they make.
by Superjuliam March 23, 2024
mugGet the Listen to them. Children of the Night. What music they make.mug.
Somebody told you not to say anything about this and YOUR KIDS DIED EXPLICITLY BECAUSE OF THAT DECISION. You need to un-make that decision.
Hym "I figured somebody would do something about THIS before anybody would, say, murder any kids but somebody told you not to say anything about this and of you don't I'm going to in the form of a child stabbing. Don't fucking listen to them. They already lead you astray. It isn't and WASN'T EVER GOING TO JUST BE ME. That's ISN'T an option and, just like living forever in paradise, the notion they sold to you that if I hadn't said anything it would have just been me is a lie and wishful thinking on their part."
by Hym Iam September 6, 2025
mugGet the Don't fucking listen to themmug.

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