major johnson

A saucy grandad with a 12 inch schlongg, loves a cheeky saville inspired bum in the shower. Likes to drive minibuses with 20 kids in the back.
"How longs the journey sir?"

"12 inches"

Lectures on windage may result in a cheeky finger and a smirk to wake you up.
"How long's your barrel?"

Watch out, Major Johnsons about

by grevs February 10, 2017

Gerbert Johnson

Fact Spitter

That young fella is a Gerbert Johnson

by Green Fella September 24, 2023

Cummy Johnson

After you pull out, you cum in your hand and slap her across the face.

I gave Rebecca that cummy Johnson last night.

by DonniesGrapes January 26, 2018

Johnson Stones

Your balls are called Johnson Stones. Stones(balls) that belong to the Johnson(dick)

Dude! You just kicked him in the Johnson Stones!!!

by ZachJack September 7, 2009

Hannah Johnson

A girl who must be protected at all costs because she is a fitty

Adele loved Hannah Johnson.

by Chumlee Johnson November 7, 2023

Alfie Johnson

An Alfie Johnson is a breed of alien that invades earth once every 23 milliseconds to steal a Big Mac Burger from a starving African child.

The Alfie Johnson breed has become very rare and are almost extinct due to 12 Year old kids accidentally raping them thinking that they are, in fact, 3"1 BBW Dead Nan's. There are thought to be less than 10 left in existence.

Fuck You Man, Why are you acting like an Alfie Johnson.... I need that Burger to survive!

by Sergeant Gay-ming August 11, 2017

calvin johnson

god. of god. as in, calvin johnson is god.

<kicks friend in nuts>

"aw fuck, what was that for, god damn it?"

"oh shit, don't you dare bring calvin johnson into this"

by stu in the zoo December 26, 2008