Skip to main content

No Jareds

Below you will find when to say "No Jareds" and what it means when you use them.

1. When someone says "no johns", or no excuses, to something where you have a very legitimate excuse. Using "No Jareds" as a retort means the person saying "no johns" has no basis to say "no johns" and are thereby wrong.

2. When you are correct but the other person refuses to acknowledge or accept that you are indeed right. "No Jareds" in this case means you are in fact correct but the other person is just too stupid, ignorant, and proud to accept it. No matter what, they won't admit they are wrong and you are right.

3. When someone is joking about something and then someone else (the person to whom we'll call Jared) calls you out on that and tries to use it against you.

4. When you blatantly lie about someone in desperate hopes to make others laugh. This also includes taking your own faults and declaring the other person guilty, thus being a hypocrite. Also, see the more general term, no jareds.
Definition #1:
Guy 1: So why didn't you go to the dance?
Guy 2: I was sick... (legitimately sick)
Guy 1: No johns!
Guy 2: No jareds!

Definition #2:
Guy 1: So, how much protein do you think is in a cup of grapes?
Guy 2: Hm, I'd say about one gram.
Guy 1: HAHA YOU IDIOT, MY MOTHER WHO IS A PATHOLOGIST SAYS THERE ISN'T ANY PROTEIN IN GRAPES!
Guy 2: Really..because nutritiondata.com states otherwise.
Guy 1: What..I-- No, that is just an unreliable ".com" blogging site, I choose to believe my mother; you are wrong and I am right.
Guy 2: No jareds...

Definition #3:

Guy 1: Christmas is on December 25.
Guy 2: No it's not! (joking, using a silly voice)
Guy 1: Yes it is, it always has been and always will be.
Guy 2: I was kidding, learn to take a joke. No jareds!

Definition #4:

Guy 1: Wow you immature nub, stop abusing your admin powers!
Guy 2: ..You barely have any powers and still abuse everything you can in the game. You think I would give you more to mess with? NO JAREDS
by Complete Truth December 2, 2009
mugGet the No Jareds mug.

Jaeden

Beautiful, Gorgeous, Very smart, gets what she wants! rich, hot!!! humerous not always popular but has great friends
Jaeden is a pretty intelligent chick!
by Beuaty January 28, 2010
mugGet the Jaeden mug.

Jawad

Jawad is a type of human being. He is amazing . Hell fuck u up ez and steal ur girl in less that 10 secs. Hottest u have ever seen. Thiccccccccc. Yes 9 c's. Former model and fashionista. He do hot Barbie left Ken. He be cruising in his lambo (Toyota prius) getting girls
by Thiccccccccc+ February 4, 2019
mugGet the Jawad mug.

Japwedish

Describing or identifying Swedish and Japanese culture.
That chick is Japwedish. I'd like to s3x0r her very much so.
by By-Tor January 24, 2005
mugGet the Japwedish mug.

Janedodo

A Janedodo is a female that is of around average attractiveness who is not particularly interesting, funny, or intelligent.
Mary: While Jason and I were at the mall we ran into his first ex-girlfriend and she joined us for lunch. She wasn't that cute and was a bore to talk to; a real Janedodo. I can't believe he ever liked her.

Lisa: Haha, my ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend seems like a Janedodo. I don't know what he sees in her.
by Leona Orange September 25, 2011
mugGet the Janedodo mug.

Jared Leto'd

A sexual position of controlled thrusting, such as while pressed against a wall, whereupon the man is able to paint the fingernails of his partner for mutual sexual pleasure and a great manicure.
I was cruising round Little Venice, when an ombre-hued hunk with piercing blue eyes and lashings of black eyeliner approached me. I immediately took him back to my boiler cupboard and disrobed. He spun me around and pinned me to the wall; I spread my legs, he plunged inside me. He stood still, and produced a riding crop. With one sharp smack to my buttock, he yelled "Yeehaa", and I was on my way. As I was thrusting against his rigid rod, I saw him reach for my 219 Black Satin Chanel nail polish. He uncapped it slowly, and teased open the lid. Beginning with my left hand, he proceeded to stroke the brush against my bare nail, several times. To my immediate arousal, I saw he too was wearing 219 Black Satin Chanel nail polish.

After he had finished the first hand, I felt a sharp smack on my other buttock, whereupon he exalted another "Yeehaa", while proceeding with a whip and dip. He then started on my right hand, my fingers trembling as I continued to thrust; yet I contained my excitement. As he delicately coloured my nails one by one, I thrust harder, and faster. Finally, he reached my pinkie finger, and with the final stroke we both let out a loud "Yeehaa" and collapsed in a heap, satiated and manicured.

- Oh my god, you wont believe what I got up to last night, I met this super hot guy and he Jared Leto'd me.
by Little Venice January 28, 2014
mugGet the Jared Leto'd mug.

jared bank

Very annoying. If your name is jared bank you problem have poor grades and no friends, and jared's are known for being obsessed with ducks... and very tall.
Girl 1: Did you see jared bank in class today?
Girl 2: yea. He's weird. Did you see that duck he had?!
by Haroldduck123 November 30, 2016
mugGet the jared bank mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email