cool_turtle.gif 

Predecessor of cool_rat.gif, this is a gif involving a man somehow capable of fitting his flaccid penis inside of a live turtle, he then proceeds to have forced intercourse with the poor thing as it struggles to get away.

I caught Ethan fucking the turtle again while he was watching cool_turtle.gif on the family laptop!

cool_turtle.gif by Shrektum February 3, 2021

backwards texas turtle 

When you put the erected penis through the legs so it's sticking out the back. Then you proceed to putting the penis into an asshole ( The asshole must be gaping) and start fucking it like there is no tomorrow.

Dude last night was so great, I gave Jessica a backwards Texas turtle!

backwards texas turtle by ResentedMoose January 2, 2017

Awkward Turtle High Five 

The awkward turtle high five is a two man version of the regular awkward turtle.

Each person takes part in a regular high five, however, once hands have collided mid air, you keep your hands touching and then you each rotate your thumb as you move your hands upward, almost as if the awkward turtle was going for a swim into the sky.

The awkward turtle high five can be used in situations to overcome awkward moments, or just for fun.

"Dude! Happy Birthday!"
"Um..My birthday was last week."
"Oh. Right."
"Yeah."
"Awkward turtle high five?!?!"
"Awkward turtle high five!"
*awkward turtle high five occurs*

Awkward Turtle High Five by pseudonymforellie September 25, 2009

Turtle Tits 

Muscular man boobs. Shaped like the subtle roundess of that of a turtle.

Hey that dude is super lean and muscular, but now he has turtle tits!

Turtle Tits by caustic88 March 17, 2011

Turtle Porn 

When something is disappointingly boring. Most commonly used when an act such as music, movies, etc is transformed from being one of the most entertaining into an act beyond boring.

Jennifer "do you think I should buy the second album of this band?"

Sandra " Well their first album was amazing it was up beat and revolutionary . However the second one well it sounded like turtle porn to me"

Turtle Porn by Dyarra November 7, 2012

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle

One of four turtles who were mutated by a substance called 'Ooze.' Love to eat pizza and watch TV. They fight the bad Foot Ninjas, too.

Donatello ish the most badass mofo of the Ninja Turtles.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle by Scrub June 4, 2003

Tampa Turtle 

When perusing the Tampa Gentleman's Club you may walk into a club that has some of the nastiest, dirty, skanky chicken heads you'll ever see. Your penis will slowly retract into your pelvis, similar to a turtle retracting into it's shell.

Joe: Dude, when I was in Tampa visiting my grandma I went to a nearby strip club. It was so sloppy I ended up with a Tampa Turtle. I should have gone to the Penthouse Club!

Tampa Turtle by Darkwing Duck III November 29, 2017