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lobster mummies

typically of the female gender,aged between mid twenties to early forties that have spent plentiful time in a tanning bed which resulted in having noticeable damaged facial skin that makes them look older then they truly are.
you notice a fairly attractive female from a distance,light blond hair,blue eyes,nice figured,tan,you estimate her to be 28-29,and that's okay because your 32,you approach her, she seems to age older and older with every foot closer. You strike conversation,each others names,hobbies,drinks..then age...she's only 22,another case of the lobster mummies.
by mrbukkake March 17, 2013
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War Lobsters

Crabs whose host is such a slut that the STD evolves.
Chelsea is such a slut she must have some real tough War Lobsters.
by Jack York August 27, 2013
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Lobster Buoy

A term to refer to large male genitalia of mentally retarded men.
Hey Mellon, get Neiler's Lobster Buoy out of your mouth and get help Head and I!
by Head Kelly January 8, 2014
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Lobster Shower

A shower just a little hotter than comfortable that results in a red/pink afterglow not unlike a cooked lobster.
You're looking a bit red, are you ok?

Yeah, I had a lobster shower this morning.
by b-13 January 9, 2014
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douche-lobster

Essentially a gross insult. Usually reserved for that special fucktard in your life.
Dude...you are such a douche-lobster! I dont think you could count your balls and come up with the same number twice!
by snark2468 December 1, 2013
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chair lobster

After long periods of sitting and readjustment a mans nuts will catch on the boxer seam and be squeezed like a grape.
You know when you sit down for a long period of time and readjust a couple different times before standing up completely. Well a chair lobster is that pinching feeling when your ballsack somehow gets weirdly stuck between a layer of boxers. When you stand up, the ballsack gets slightly pinched by a fold in the fabric.

From Reddit user /u/moparornocar
by BurningRambo December 18, 2013
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taint lobster

a pubic crab that resides in the taint region, near the ass
Because John did not thoroughly shave his pubic area, his crabs relocated and are now considered taint lobsters.

Dude, I once gave a rim job to this chick who had some nasty ass taint lobsters.
by ScorpGem February 11, 2015
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