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Ah yes: My 28th cup of coffee today

28 STAB WOUNDS. YOU DIDN'T WANNA LEAVE HIM A CHANCE, HUH? DID YOU FEEL ANGER? HATE? I KNOW YOU KILLED HIM, WHY WON'T YOU SAY IT? JUST SAY "I KILLED HIM" IS IT THAT HARD TO SAY? JUST SAY YOU KILLED HIM, JUST SAY IT!!
Ah yes: My 28th cup of coffee today, now to put this definition on a coffee mug
by RK-800√BOT February 8, 2022
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Today I received a Bandi

To receive a excessively long monologue in the form of a message, on any kind of chat platform.
Yesterday i had fallen out with my friend, but TODAY I RECEIVED A BANDI. It was nearly 4 pages long and he apologised for everything.
by xMinister February 10, 2022
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today was pissin

Today was pissing;
In other words ;
Today was kickin
Today was bussin
Today was awsome

This phrase might be used after some fine ass day !
Dude... today was pissin!
by Metal bunny ^_^ February 12, 2022
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uncle jack hasn't come by today

This is when a guy/girl hasn't had the time to do his/her daily jack-off and is pent up and taking it out on others. If you are not a daily masturbater then this could also be used as "uncle jack hasn't come by this week/month"
"I'm sorry for being a jerk, uncle jack hasn't come by today and it has be all riled up"
by Wholeeyo October 8, 2021
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come today and buy some corn

Or we’ll sacrifice your newborn
Come today and buy some corn or we’ll sacrifice your newborn
by Randomguywastaken September 18, 2021
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Empire Today

A popular flooring and carpeting company that has a catchy jingle that no one could resist singing along to when the commercial comes on
Chorus: (singing): “800-588-2300, Empire Today!”
by rosenovarocks July 23, 2021
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today on things

Expression. Short-hand for "Today on things that happened".

Used when someone is lying, or exaggerating a story. Often used on the internet and seldom in real life.
"Here's a picture of the house I paid off in two years using essential oils!! #BossBabe"

"Today on things"
by GoobyeLikeAOuija July 25, 2021
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