male sexual genitalia, which is absaloutly enormous in every which way, length and diameter, like a human elephant penis.
by Holyfuckingwillisboi May 22, 2018
Get the Shlong mug.Noun. A mullet; short in the front, long in the back (sh-long). A haircut typically worn by a dickhead.
by Scrout Shredmondson November 19, 2022
Get the Shlong mug.Definition:
A caffeine-powered computer whisperer who walks the line between genius and glitch. Damian “Long Shlong” Wood isn’t just a man—he’s a chaotic event wearing human skin. He speaks fluent binary, communes with frogs for wisdom, and believes any disaster can be solved if you just Megazord it.
Profile:
Tech Wizard: Fixes computers by glaring at them until the motherboard apologizes. Once coded a working game using only a keyboard missing the “E.”
Frog Lore Scholar: Claims frogs hold the Wi-Fi password of the universe—and somehow everyone believes him.
Megazord Philosopher: His life motto: “When it’s broken, just Megazord it.” Nobody knows what that means, yet it always works.
Professional Gooner: Operates on pure focus and unholy energy; rumored to have transcended sleep during a 72-hour code-and-Red Bull marathon.
Personality:
Chaotically evil in the most helpful way possible. He’ll repair your router, but it’ll play frog croaks on startup afterward. The man radiates the aura of an overclocked raccoon who discovered enlightenment and decided to major in IT.
Legacy:
Some say he was born when a lightning bolt struck a USB hub; others think he’s a firmware update that gained consciousness. Either way, Damian “Long Shlong” Wood remains a walking reminder that science, chaos, and frog memes can coexist.
A caffeine-powered computer whisperer who walks the line between genius and glitch. Damian “Long Shlong” Wood isn’t just a man—he’s a chaotic event wearing human skin. He speaks fluent binary, communes with frogs for wisdom, and believes any disaster can be solved if you just Megazord it.
Profile:
Tech Wizard: Fixes computers by glaring at them until the motherboard apologizes. Once coded a working game using only a keyboard missing the “E.”
Frog Lore Scholar: Claims frogs hold the Wi-Fi password of the universe—and somehow everyone believes him.
Megazord Philosopher: His life motto: “When it’s broken, just Megazord it.” Nobody knows what that means, yet it always works.
Professional Gooner: Operates on pure focus and unholy energy; rumored to have transcended sleep during a 72-hour code-and-Red Bull marathon.
Personality:
Chaotically evil in the most helpful way possible. He’ll repair your router, but it’ll play frog croaks on startup afterward. The man radiates the aura of an overclocked raccoon who discovered enlightenment and decided to major in IT.
Legacy:
Some say he was born when a lightning bolt struck a USB hub; others think he’s a firmware update that gained consciousness. Either way, Damian “Long Shlong” Wood remains a walking reminder that science, chaos, and frog memes can coexist.
by geggregmed October 16, 2025
Get the Damian "long shlong" Wood mug.by ThatOneSmallKid June 23, 2017
Get the Shlong mug.by furkingpluh December 2, 2023
Get the Shlong mug.You have a nice Shlong
by DANJM_69 January 8, 2022
Get the Shlong mug.A very long, thin penis that looks like a hot dog sausage. Usually not great if your man has a shlong because it will just look odd asf. You wouldn’t want it inside you (unless you’re desperate or clapped)
Lily— “Oh no I found out that Jimmy has a shlong!”
Halle— “Well I suggest you only insert the first few inches it just cut a bit of it off.”
Halle— “Well I suggest you only insert the first few inches it just cut a bit of it off.”
by hallejamesx March 8, 2019
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