The Uncle Arif

The practice of calling your nieces and nephews monkeys, and also farting on your nieces and nephews with no mercy

Uncle Arif saw his nephew Mannix and farted on his face and called him a monkey, the practice of the uncle Arif

by UncleArif May 8, 2024

Joseph the uncle

A person who so indrenched in conspiracy theories that he thinks that he thinks that's he's living in the matrix and what ever bad events are happening in the world are just a glitch.

Mother: hey son, do you see that neighbor from across the street?
Son: is it the man that is always yelling "email the developers I feel chest pain"?
Mother: well yes son! This person falls under the category of Joseph the uncle😊

by 🤔🤔🥴🥴 May 13, 2020

the cool uncle

noun; a uncle who happens to be better then most people. possibly gets you a tattoo, dirt bikes, fishing, camping, and feeds you.

person one: hey whose max hanging out with?

Person two: oh that, the cool uncle phil. hes shredding some gnar with him.

by cardiacarrest November 15, 2013

The Pasty Uncle

When you're giving it to her from behind, pull out suddenly and drop kick her so hard your feet get lodged into her vagina.

Usually happens during a hate fuck.

Emily: DUDE YOU GAVE YOUR EX THE PASTY UNCLE?!

Zach: SHIT YEAH I DID. SHE'LL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN!

Emily: OH GOD SO MUCH HURT

by Trixster G. Rex June 8, 2011

The Bus Uncle

"The Bus Uncle"is a Cantonese video clip capturing a verbal altercation aboard a bus in Hong Kong on April 27,2006.The clip was taken by a passenger,uploaded to HK Golden Forum,and then quickly mirrored on YouTube and Google Video.Soon after its debut on YouTube,the 6-minute video became a cultural sensation in Hong Kong and inspired vigorous debate and discussion on life and etiquette in the city.Attracting over one million hits, the clip became one of YouTube's most viewed items in May 2006.Its copious use of profanity and its rhetorical outbursts attracted the attention of local and international media,and some of its utterances became catchphrases in Hong Kong and Chinese communities around the world.

Roger(The Bus uncle),"Get off the bus at once!Dun stay on the bus!" Elvis,"Dis isn't necessary." Roger,"If it isn't necessary,why d'u pat me on the shoulder?When I's talking on the phone,u..." Elvis,"(interrupts)Boss..." Roger,"Hey,dun call me'boss'.4 the sake of fairness,we dun know each other.Y d'u hafta do that?(faster tone)Why d'u hafta do that?Look,everyone in society suffers from stress.Now that u've done sth v.unfair,should I've a word with u?" Elvis,"(softly)I think we already aren't having a pleasant conversation anymore..." Roger,"(angrily interrupts)Now that we're talking,I ask you.Have I touched youWell?" Elvis,"Just what d'u want me 2 do?" Roger,"What d'I want u 2 do?I want u 2 apologize!" Elvis,"Soz,I didn't mean 2." Roger,"What d'u mean,'U didn't mean 2'?Who's right,u or me?" Elvis(interrupts softly),"U wanna save face." Roger,"What?" Elvis,"(louder)You just wanna save face. Soz,boss." Roger,"I don't wanna save face!Hey look,first,when u spoke on the phone,I didn't interfere with u.(Elvis puts his right arm on the headrest of the seat.)" Roger,"Why d'u hafta say I'm talking 2 loudly?I simply haven't disturbed u.Right?So,what d'u hafta say 4 urself?"Elvis,"Well,nothing really 's happened,it's all that simple." Roger,"What's happened 2 u?Just what d'u want?Hmm...I wanna settle this with u." Elvis,"The matter's settled,it's that simple."Roger,"It isn't settled." Elvis,"It's settled." Roger,"(louder)It isn't settled!" Elvis,"It's settled." Roger,"(yelling very loudly)It isn't settled!We both hafta settle dis right now!2 put it simply,when u talked on the phone,did I interrupt u?Y d'u interupt me?" Elvis,"U 're talking 2 loudly." Roger,"Look,when u 're talking on the phone,did I say u were talking 2 loudly and disturbing other ppl?We're both talking on our phones.When ppl talk on the phone,there 'll b noise,but u,ur voice... our voices 're the same.Yes,and did I interrupt u 4 that?(Pause)What d'u say?(Dead silence)" Roger,"(yelling)U r really asking 4 a fight!Fuck ur mum!R u asking 4 it?I 'm stressed,u r stressed,why d' u provoke me?" Elvis,"(very softly)I didn't mean 2..." Roger,"What d'u mean'U didn't mean 2.'?Apologize this instant!" Elvis,"I'm sorry." Roger,"Say it louder!" Elvis,"(louder)I'm sorry." Roger,"Don't ever do that again,I warn you.(Roger takes out his hand)" Roger,"Take out your hand." Elvis,"(softly)It isn't necessary." Roger,"Why isn't it necessary?Is sth wrong?" Elvis,"(softly)I've apologized." Roger,"When you've apologized,u shake hands.Why aren't u shaking hands after the apology?" Elvis,"It isn't necessary." Roger,"Y not?If u dun shake hands after ur apology,it means that the matter still hasn't been settled.(Elvis laughs)" Roger,"If u dun shake hands,it isn't settled.If the matter isn't settled,it means that we hafta settle it 4 good,right?U disturbed me while I 's on the phone,did I disturb u while u were on the phone?Fuck!I'm already furious.Just then I... Why d'u pat me on the shoulder?Fuck ur mum!" Elvis,"(very soft)(inaudible)" Roger,"You even interrupt me while I'm talking.What the fuck d'u know about me?Fuck ur mum!Hey!Now that you've apologized,y dun u shake me by the hand?Well?The matter still hasn't been settled." Elvis,"All right,I'll let you've ur way.(The two shake hands)" Roger,"Good,dun do it again.Lemme tell u,other ppl'll hit u if u do that." Elvis,"May we meet each other again." Roger,"Yes,if destiny permits.Just dun ever do it again.Dun disturb me,and I won't disturb u,ok?We both are stressed." Elvis,"Right." Roger,"I'm always ready if u wanna fight me." Elvis,"That's not necessary." Roger,"It's okay if that's not necessary." Elvis,"Gentlemen talk things out,n do not resort 2 violence." Roger,"(loudly)No,when u talk,u cause a great deal of trouble!U patted me on the shoulder while I was on the phone." Elvis,"Well,then should I pat u on the head?" Roger,"U patted me on the shoulder!U've just apologized.There's no problem with that,but when u patted me on the shoulder,it means that you've disturbed me b4 I've even disturbed u.Hence I fucked ur mum!Is that right? Look,we've settled it.(begins 2 turn forwards)" Elvis,"But still,dun fuck the mum." Roger,"(turns back sharply)If I dun fuck a mum,who should I fuck?(cuts off Elvis)When I fuck ur mum,am I copulating with her?I'm just using some Chinese swear words!(cuts off Elvis)I like 2 fuck!I'm not copulating with her!(turns forward)" Elvis,"(inaudible)...I'm warning you..." Roger,"(turns back sharply)Why r u warning me?Now that we 've shaken hands,why r u warning me,pal?What's this 4?" Elvis,"The matter 's been settled..." Roger,"(interrupts)If it's been settled,why d'u warn me?I'm heavily stressed.I wanna shake nds.You settle...you said that the matter is settled and now you warn me?What's the point,pal?This is pointless for both of us,is that right?Now that we've shaken hands..." Elvis,"Let me tell you,this matter is between the two of us.Don't drag other people into it." Roger,"If you have to drag people into it,you do so.If you enjoy fucking,you fuck;if I enjoy fucking,I fuck.Fucking other people is harmless.Fuck,fuck and fuck! Should I punch you twice instead?Right?When it's been settled,it's settled.Don't warn me.Why did you warn me?I'm not half scared even if you do!(Elvis opens up his phone)I'm extremely stressed,don't you know that?Now,do you understand?You shouldn't warn me! It's settled,you get the point?If you warn me,it means the matter isn't settled!We should forget about this,having shaken hands.OK?" Elvis,"All right,I don't want to talk to you any more." Roger,"(yelling)What did you warn me for!Aren't you satisfied?(Roger's phone rings)Fuck!"Elvis,"Get the phone...(Roger turns forward.)" Roger,"Hello? Hello."

by Peter Lam January 4, 2007

Uncle The One

Quite possibly the greatest person that has ever lived, also goes by the name of Jack Farrow, so were told. Famous for calling people amateurs and that's about it, oh yeah and he's the one.

Can I reserve some balls Uncle The One? Yes you may.

by Dave Eras February 5, 2004

the good uncle

What the children called Josef Mengele, one of the camp doctors at Auschwitz famous for performing medical experiments on children - particularly on twins. He would provide the children with sweets, toys and new clothes but this was entirely cynical as he simply wanted them to co-operate in his experiments.

The Good Uncle gave me some sweeties today, then he said we were going to play a game called "up the chimney" - what fun!

by Lord_Viral December 2, 2013