Skip to main content

Seppuku Season

That time of the year when everything is going so poorly that everyone begins to contemplate committing ritual suicide
If I get extended on this damn project one more time, it's Seppuku Season.
Other prominent examples of Seppuku Season include: Chicago winters, connecting flights, cancelled Uber EATS orders, and the deli running out of hummus
by Seppuku Sam September 27, 2018
mugGet the Seppuku Season mug.

seppuku

Japanese word for the act of commiting suicide. Some people tend to confuse this term with hara-kiri, wich is "belly cutting".
He has commited seppuku by slicing his throat with a knife.
by Mr.X March 2, 2005
mugGet the seppuku mug.

Seppuku

"Seh-poo-koo"

A Japanese suicide ritual where you cut the belly open. It is believed that if you commit suicide this way, it will let your spirit exit the body at ease.
My daughter died because she commited Seppuku.
by NoeruChan June 23, 2016
mugGet the Seppuku mug.

Facebook Seppuku

When you epically fail so bad in real life, you dishonor your digital self.
Shawn: Hey did you hook up with Heather last night?
Matt:No I blew it. Three months of planning down the drain, and to top it all off she shared her rejection of me with all my friends......time to go perform Facebook seppuku.

After face tripping over a rope and face planting into a wall while talking to his friends, Joe was forced to commit Facebook seppuku
by S1nfulFuzzball October 21, 2010
mugGet the Facebook Seppuku mug.

seppuku

Seppuku is the ancient art of killing yourself if you get super pissed and can’t find anybody else to kill. Ninjas use all sorts of crap to kill themselves—guns, ropes, knives, lasers, spears, etc.—and don’t even think twice about it. These guys would kill themselves for just about any reason and often for no reason at all: that’s why we there are so few ninjas today.

But if you want to commit Seppuku and you’re like me, you don’t have access to stuff like lasers. But there’s hope. I tried to kill myself by swallowing a frisbee a couple of times—and believe me, it’s pretty cool. The only catch is you have to be really super pissed to do it.


Step 1 Get a frisbee from the store or friend.

Step 2 Clean the Frisbee.

Step 3 Make sure your parents aren’t around

Step 4 Put something slippery on it, like butter or cream.

Step 5 Get really super pissed.

Step 6 Fold the Frisbee hard (this is crucial)

Step 7 Keep folded and insert Frisbee into mouth hard.

Step 8 Push hard until you can’t see it.

Step 9 Wait.

Step 10 Die.

If you succeed, everybody will be like “Holy Crap!”
Dude 1: Holy Shit! You just swallowed a frisbee! You are the most awesome ninja ever!
Dude 2: (dead, because he just commit seppuku)
Dude 1: Holy Crap!
by Benjamon October 27, 2005
mugGet the seppuku mug.

Seppuku

A masturbatory sexual act in which a man penetrates the outer sphincter of his anus with the tip of his beef whistle.
"Boy, I could sure go for some seppuku right now", thought Henry.
by HAILGOKU February 1, 2017
mugGet the Seppuku mug.

seppuku

A phrase you say when you dread something so much you'd rather stick a blade in your abdomen than actually do it.
"We have to run 10 miles today." "Are you kidding me?" "Seppuku"
by Paajcc99 September 27, 2017
mugGet the seppuku mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email