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proximity mine

Pooping into the tank of a toilet, and taking the float out. This will make poopy water overflow from the toilet tank. The pure genious of this action is that most people almost always leave the bathroom while the tank is still filling.
"I went to that frat house last night and planted a proximity mine, by taking the float out and pooping in the tank of one of their toilets."
by Pantanto April 30, 2004
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proximity sensor

The nerve sensor inside your rectum that causes you to feel an increasing urgency to poop the closer you get to a toilet. The proximity sensor is activated by an already present need to take a crap. Once in the vicinity of a restroom, your proximity sensor will alert you that you are running out of time to reach the toilet and drop your pants, or suffer the consequences...
As I walked towards the bathroom, cheeks tightly clenched, my proximity sensor went crazy and I nearly pooped my pants before I could sit down.
by igottago... July 29, 2011
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Proximity Tech Support

When your computer program isn't working right but when a friend or co-worker stands next to you, it starts to work, even though they hadn't done anything to assist you.
-Will you just come and stand next to my computer? I need some proximity tech support.
-Ah, thanks! Now its printing.
by Cherhawkinof October 16, 2009
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proximity fuck

To engage in sexual relations with the person who is the nearest geographical distance to you. This usually occurs without regard for self worth.
Although Alan had been making eye contact with the fetching young woman across the bar, he decided to indiscriminately proximity fuck the less attractive, unsavory woman to his immediate right, out of ease.

Following the devastation of Tom's breakup, he went to a bar and proximity fucked the first woman he met.
by SaucyK February 6, 2012
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proximity error

When in close proximity to one you care deeply about, or just purely have the raging hots for, you make insanely stupid and inexplicable mistakes.
Lori, I know I really eff'd up our dinner order...but every time I'm near you I suffer major proximity errors! I can't help it...it's what you do to me!
by jfwordsmythe December 12, 2016
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Proximity alarm

A girl who has been tortured for 2+ years blindfolded who screams whenever she hears the door open.
Watch out dale my proximity alarm might go off if you open my basement door!
by Yæt January 1, 2021
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Bacon Proximity Index (BPI)

How far a given human being is from fresh hot bacon. This index value is an indicator of quality of life in both first and third world countries.

the BPI is the product of a number of variables
1. distance travel needed
2. modes of travel needed
3. local, relative cost of bacon
4. time required for bacon preparation
5. quality of bacon available
6. risks to be undertaken to achieve the bacon
I'm in Denny's right now bro, my Bacon Proximity Index (BPI) is at the absolute maximum value known in the universe.

triple the bacon on my bacon sundae.
by aaron_ros April 25, 2013
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