Land one on the beach

To "land one on the beach", or "landed one on the beach" is to take a shit that is so big that at least half of its unbroken length sticks up out of the water of the toilet bowl and clings to the porcelain like a beached whale taking its last breath.

Dude, you've got to see this. I just "landed one on the beach", It was such a big shit it brushed my nuts when it finally broke loose and fell over. I love it when I "land one on the beach" I never flush those, so the next guy can see how insignificant his shit capacity is!

by Sall Matsaulu August 30, 2009

Junk on the back porch

a term used by unhip father-in-law when trying to use the phrase "Junk in the trunk".

That girl looks good in those jeans, she got "junk on the back porch".

by Btown Carter October 31, 2018

Screaming Multiple Orgasm On The Beach

n. A mixed drink. A mix of a Screaming Multiple Orgasm and a Sex On The Beach. If you put too much Peachtree Schnapps in, the drink is very bad.

Ingredients:
1 1/2 oz Bailey's Irish Cream
1 1/2 oz Amaretto
1 oz Malibu rum
1/2 oz Triple sec
1 oz Midori melon liqueur
1 oz Peachtree schnapps
2 oz Club soda

Mixing instructions:
Fill glass 1/2 full with ice. Add all liquers and speed shake. Top with club soda.

You should have seen the reaction I got from the bartender when I asked for a Screaming Multiple Orgasm On The Beach.

by Dan Weyandt December 31, 2007

on the brach

A slang New York-Italian term for getting something without paying, or being offered something through a connection

Tony gave me a couple of cases of olive oil on the brach

by Fugazi Frank February 11, 2018

you get that on the big jobs

A nicer way of saying "Shit happens".

random1: While I was getting groceries at the store today, some bum went and stole my child.

random2: you get that on the big jobs

by Random3 December 23, 2009

Talking to God on the big white telephone

Being in such a paralytic state from the mass consumption of alcohol that when you reach the toilet you are usually slumped down hugging the bowl and screaming 'Oh God!' into the shit abyss in between violent bouts of upchuck.

Yeah man, got so wasted last night I ended up talking to God on the big white telephone!

by Top of the vomit August 26, 2009

on the bright

A fake expression created by the folks at Burger King in an attempt to make their radio advertisements sound "hip" for a younger audience.

Interviewer: What's next for Ted?
Ted: I'll be at the BK drive-thru... on the bright!

by ferrgus October 16, 2008