Me: Thank God I
don't actually live here in Northern Ireland! It'
s shit.
Northerner: No it isn't!
Me: Actually, it is. Belfast looks like a fucking concentration camp or something. What'
s with all the barbed wire and fences! And the
retarded chavs who attack policemen, firefighters, and anyone wearing the wrong
soccer jersey, the paramilitaries, Orangemen, need I go on?!
Northerner: You're right, feck this, I'm moving to the West Country. Or Wales. Or the South. Even Glasgow isn't as shite as this armpit.
Me: Now you're thinking straight. I'll book a ticket on Ryanair and get us the feck out of here. Let'
s never speak of it again.