Infomercial Hands

Hands that can't do anything correctly. Infomercial Hands can't strain a pot of pasta or screw in a lightbulb or push buttons on a phone, so they require the purchase of a new fangled item that will come to the rescue.

Scott: What's with that guy? Why can't he tie his shoes?
Peter: He's suffering from Infomercial Hands. He clearly needs ShoeTie™.

by phalagen June 18, 2013

Infomercial Sapiens

Endangered sub-species of homo sapiens, who due to ineptitude in any given task poses a health hazard to themselves and their surroundings. Often suffers from mal-nutrition, as simple tasks as chopping a vegetable with a knife, results in hospitalization. Also prone to different infections and diseases, as handling used rags, mops and cleaning equipment that's not highly specialized (as promoted in an infomercial), will despite ease of use and common knowledge, be used not only wrongly - but with some sort of health risk. Some cases of hoarding has been observed, but there is yet no documentation of Infomercial Sapiens" being hoarders in general.

UNESCO has put Infomercial Sapiens on the endangered species list, as they will either kill themselves, or die out when streaming of media will remove infomercials from TV-screens.

See also Infomercial People, Infomercial

Karen was so sad to discover her son had the "infomercial sapiens" mutation, and probably only had a couple of years left to live.

by GorramYadda February 9, 2018

infomercial

A piece of (usually) television designed to both give information and promote a product. However, the information cannot be trusted because it is not impartial.

by Ian Chode September 5, 2003

infomercial poop

When you think you are done pooping, you wipe, get up but then have to poop again. "But Wait! There's more"

It took me forever to get out of the bathroom. I had one infomercial poop after another

by mjank May 28, 2009

infomercial

Shity comercial that takes forever to end.

Yeah, we know. But the goddamn product. WE GET IT.

by pissed off person September 6, 2003

Infomercial

Infomercial comes from the root word "info" and "mercial," which is greek for "to give wrongly"

But the infomercial said if I rub Bengay on my balls it'd feel amazing... They haven't grown back yet!

by J-Hoax January 5, 2011

Human Infomercial

A person used to fill a life programming gap until better programming comes along.

After breaking up with her boyfriend, Sally used John as a human infomercial as someone to dump all her problems and thoughts on until she found a new boyfriend, and then forgot John existed.

by Martin Stevens March 21, 2008