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Definitions by phalagen

Infomercial Hands

Hands that can't do anything correctly. Infomercial Hands can't strain a pot of pasta or screw in a lightbulb or push buttons on a phone, so they require the purchase of a new fangled item that will come to the rescue.
Scott: What's with that guy? Why can't he tie his shoes?
Peter: He's suffering from Infomercial Hands. He clearly needs ShoeTie™.
Infomercial Hands by phalagen June 18, 2013

Keyboard Theory 

When suddenly everybody wants to play with a toy or item (like a keyboard) that has been buried under the bed or tucked away in a closet for years.
Raul: I found this keyboard under the bed. I'm gonna learn how to play the Star Wars theme on it.
Brock: Hey! Gimme that! It's mine!!!
Raul: It's been collecting dust under the bed for 5 years and now suddenly you want to play it? That's Keyboard Theory.
Keyboard Theory by phalagen June 18, 2013

F.K.I.A. 

Jan has to weigh in on everything. She is such an F.K.I.A.
F.K.I.A. by phalagen September 6, 2009
Natasha: "What did you get for Christmas?"
Chloe: "Christmas sucked this year. I got dick nada."
dick nada by phalagen January 13, 2008