Midlife Crisis

When a person regrets how they have lived his or her life, and they attempt to 'correct' their mental issue in a variety of ways which usually always harms themselves or those closest to them.

Bob: "Hey Tim, how's it going brah?! I just had a revelation. I realize I hate my life up to now and feel like I jumped into this marriage. I'm planning to divorce my wife and am gonna sell this stupid station wagon. Pretty badass huh?"

Tim: "Umm, Bob? You're 47 years old. You've been married for 24 years, have 3 kids and another on the way. And what does brah mean? I think you're having a midlife crisis, you might want to rethink this. I mean you have a plastic hip and a pacemaker!"

Bob: "Nah you're crazy brah, I already asked that hot intern out and put a down payment on a Corvette. Life is gonna be great. And let's keep that pacemaker thing on the downlow."

Tim: "But you'll have to pay child support, alimony, and still have your 'great life' to pay for."

Bob: "Timmy my friend, that's what credit cards are for."

Tim: "Whatever. Enjoy bankruptcy."

by Zastro November 28, 2009

Crisis Queen

A Crisis Queen is someone who profits or takes pleasure in injecting themselves into an event of stress or calamity. They often have very little connection to the problem at hand but that does not stop them from swooping in and "helping out". The real problem is that they most often make the situation worse and can turn a small incident into a major headache. They can be either a man or a woman, a reverend or a minister. The Crisis Queen is related to Drama Queen but the CQ often has an ulterior motive and wants to see the situation get negative. They are basically a high profile ambulance chaser with higher stakes.

General Motors and the Unions were close to an agreement on their contracts until the Crisis Queens got involved. Now it looks like they're all headed towards bankruptcy.
OR:
As if we these poor flood victims weren't in bad enough shape, now the Crisis Queen has arrived and wants to blame the government for not stopping the rains.

by miwok April 7, 2009

crissia

The smartest, sweetest person around. Will help any where it's needed and will make sure you stay good. Will and can be a bitch, but is sweet and nice while doing it. Is a beautiful person inside and out and wants the best for everyone around her. The name is unique as she is and will stay unique. They love everyone, and is the bestest friend you could ever ask for. Wil never tell the secrets that are told to her and will always give you good advice.

Hey girl, it's Crissia!
My BFF, Crissia

by Sweet and sexy December 21, 2016

Existential Crisis

Danisnotonfire

Existential crisis in the works:
Dan: Making some cereal......why do I exist? Life is pointless....
Dan: Time to make a video! So fun! .....One day I and everyone I love will be dead. We're so alone in the universe

by dungman October 14, 2013

Cuban Missile Crisis

when you realize the hot Latina you're about to fuck may in fact have a dick

i had to deal with a cuban missile crisis after we left the bar and sofia got a hard on.

by Porkrhind December 21, 2016

*Cries in Gucci*

Definition: A rich and famous person who makes an apology video who "cries" in the video even though they know their faking it and has a better life than someone else.

Omg, Famous person made an apology video and they just *Cries in Gucci* for the whole video!

by Dr. Pluto September 12, 2020

Global warming crisis

a crisis that is unique in human history where the climate is warming because of human activity. which may affect the ability to grow food and cause global starvation, mass extinction, rise of sea level, and perhaps a new ice age due to the shuting down of the thermohalene ocean current.

can the global warming crisis be stoped?

by Deep blue 2012 August 24, 2009