two shits to a candlestick

to not know anything about anything

to "not hold two shits to a candlestick" is to think you know something but really know nothing

Dan: did you hear caleb's thoughts on obama care?
Emma: yeah, but the tool can't hold two shits to a candlestick when it comes to the goverment

by secretpumpkinking May 2, 2014

Australian Candlestick

A way to pleasure yourself, or another person, in which a taper candle, or other skinny candle is placed in the rectum and lit as a form of wax play. (If wax enters the anus a wick may be placed inside the still melted wax and lit again)

Did you hear that Ryan Reynolds had to do the Australian Candlestick in his newest film? There was wax everywhere!!

by Skidmore Muncy December 10, 2024