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Wood-Tic 

A "Wood-Tic" is defined as a low-value, white-trash American. It's natural habitat is rural areas of the northern United States. Particularly Michigan, Wisconsin, and Minnesota.

The "Wood-Tic" shares many characteristics with its southern cousins, the Hillbilly and the Redneck. All are typically perceived to be crass, uneducated, unsophisticated, racist, and often dirty (especially the kids).

They enjoy backwoods campfires, belly-flop competitions, mudpits, backroading, crash-up-derby, cat fishing, polar ice challenges and watching "Cage Fights."
"Drunk Wood-Tics in the cheap seats, stomped their feet and hooted at the Crash-up-Derby last night."

"How come all them girls is toothless, fat, and surrounded by filthy, little kids? Oh, those are Wood-Tic wives!"

"The Wood-Tics are really good at catching the greased pigs at the county fair"

"My cousin Josh is the Wood-Tic cage-fighten champion. Three years in a row now... His signature move is the patented "Wood-Tic guillotine!"
Wood-Tic by Valhalla MMA May 29, 2019
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Elle Woods Test 

Would you stake your life on the reliability of your results? A test of collected data such that the person who collected the data believes so strongly in the validity of the data that they would stake their life on the accuracy of the data.
"I'm sure this rope is strong enough."
"Does your data pass the Elle woods test?"

wood tick 

One who is very low on the social and economic scale. Often found in small northern Michigan towns. A regional equivalent to low life.
Her recent behaviour might lead you to believe that she was raised by a colony of wood ticks.
wood tick by sidelock October 24, 2004

Wood Thief's Sickness 

A condition where extremely fine splinters of wood embed in the dermal layer slowly working toward the heart, lungs and brain over a period of 2 - 5 years. Side effects can include, an extreme affinity for Microsoft Excel, over measuring and having the name Danny. Only affects people who have touched or burnt stolen firewood i.e. thieves or petty criminals.
Danny stole firewood from his brother's front porch and now he has Wood Thief's Sickness

Woods Theory 

The scientific theory that at some point in every single girls life they will have had a cock in their mouth. Developed by one of the great philosophers of our time: G Woods.
*Watching cheerleaders at a football game*

John: "Hey Chris, you see all of those cheerleaders? Every single one of them has fallen victim to the Woods Theory."

Chris: "Man I love science."
Woods Theory by G Woods November 7, 2019

I had sex with Tiger Woods too 

The idea is you say something that a lot of people have done but is still a pretty good achievement and can't be either proven or disproven:

1) Used when one feels insecure about or overshadowed by another person's accomplishments

2) Sly comeback to someone who has just made a statement about how amazing they are
Person: I just got back from Somalia rescuing orphans for the peace corps. Man I'm awesome
Person 2: Yeah, well I had sex with Tiger Woods too

Wooden toaster 

WTF IS A WOODEN TOATER
person: have you seen the new song from wooden toaster
person2: THE FUCK IS A WOODEN TOASTER
person: MACINTOSH PLUS - リサフランク420 / 現代のコンピュー PLAYS