do the curtains match the carpet

A question you would ask someone to find out if their pubic hair matches the hair on their head.... without it being to obvious that you want to know.

"Not to be weird, but do the curtains match the carpet?"

by Urbandefiner.com February 13, 2017

burns the carpet

A person who walks quickly without picking up their feet.

'Gee, will you look at Zoran walking to the printing machine, that guy really burns the carpet.'

by ShowBag April 24, 2009

does the carpet match the blinds

Is his/her pubic hair the same color as his facial hair (eyebrows, eyelashes, side burns, mustache, beard)?

Hey, you've seen Christine, right.

Yeah, why

Um, well, does the carpet match the blinds?

No, but the carpet matches the curtains

Oh, thanks.

curtains: hair on head
upholstery: leg and arm hair
linens: back, chest, and tummy hair,

welcome mat: foot hair
cushions: butt hair

by trajayjay August 26, 2013

dancing on the carpet

Appearing before The Boss' desk, squirming, while attempting to explain a failure or transgression on your part.

The Boss had him dancing on the carpet for that screw-up.

by barber of seville November 22, 2011

Munching the Carpet

A synonym for eating pussy. The term is primarily used in the lesbian community.

After her win at Wimbledon, Martina was munching the carpet on her fluff girlfriend when I opened the wrong door.

by Robert E. Porter January 17, 2006

budgie under the carpet

Used to describe the bulge of a mans crotch when penis is erect. See: trouser tent

Origin comes from the old joke of laying new carpet and then finding the budgie missing and a lump under the carpet.

Hey look! Neville's got a budgie under the carpet.

by Elijah S April 14, 2004

Captain of the Carpet Ship

A title bestowed upon one who is drunk and passed out on the floor, like they are piloting the carpet.

Shit, man! You were Captain of the Carpet Ship last night.

by Dr. Badwrench September 22, 2006