Sphinctified

The act of or having back end trots, diarrhea or being able to s*!* through a screen door.

Man, that Mexican food made me sphinctified!

by Stinky Cheese24 November 18, 2011

sphinctologist

One who study's Sphintology, the branch of mathematics which studies the properties and relations of garlic knots, Schrödinger's cat, and spindle fibers.

"What the hell kind of math is he doing on the board?" -Virgin nonstudier of sphinctology

"He's finding the inverse function of garlic knots per spindle fiber you fucking moron." -Alpha sphinctologist

by TeddyG420 February 10, 2023

sphinctor boy

A person, usually a dude, who has never had anyone tell them that they aren't funny. They continually spit out little jokes in any converstion, regardless of who they may be interrupting, as long as they get a few laughs. What happens when they don't get laughs? They're up and running in a matter of seconds to try to make up for it... To fix a sphinctor boy, just wait until he has one of those "rare" jokes where nobody chuckles, then call him out and embarrass him in front of whoever is around. This can fetch varied results, but usually shuts the person up for 3 to 5 days. Sphinctor boys are becoming more and more abundant, and it's becoming harder to pick them out by how they look. Be sure that you give potential sphinctor boys three strikes, because lets face it, everyone gets excited sometimes. After that, though, they are fair game for a good old fashioned shut the fuck up.

Teacher/Professor: Ok class, today kicks off the first day of our American history chapter. (Sphinctor boy, we'll say Chad..) Chad, take that hat off please.

Chad (Sphinctor boy): Hey guys, look! It's me, Uncle Sam! And I WANT YOU!!! Hahaha, get it? I WANT YOU!!!...it's what Uncle Sam says!! Good times...good times....

Girl who feels awkward so she giggles: hehehe

by Chad??? September 20, 2007

Sphincting

This is the act of pulling a chick's (or a dude's, if you're into that kinda thing) sphincter out of her bunghole after a session of dangerous, sloppy butt sex. After a chick has been spincted, she'll have to wear Depends, for sure.

SPHINCTING...
"Wanda, why are you wearing an adult diaper?"
"Cuz some dude jumped me from behind and sphincted the shit outta me!"

"Man, it sure smells like shit in here!"
"That's me. I got sphincted last night, and now there's no difference between a deuce and a fart."

by David Isaacs and David McCracken, Mayors of... April 14, 2008

sphinctoral dilator

A medicinal/mechanical item used to reduce/eliminate embarrassing noisy farts in public. Just like a bronchial dilator, it serves to further widen/open a bodily "pipe", but just at (ahem!) the "other end of the equation". Having this artificially-unrestricted "exit" permits any produced methane to be immediately vented in a continuous and "silent" outflow, rather than the gas's being internally bottled up in an increasingly-pressurized "pocket", eventually to come blasting out in a horrid raspy spluttering explosive expulsion that either greatly offends or uproariously amuses everyone within earshot, and causes acute humiliation to the unfortunate farter, especially if his whizzpoppers are especially odiferous and/or frequent.

Baked-beans-and-stewed-cabbage-loving dude: Wearing my specially-designed sphinctoral dilator (a three-inch-long thick-walled aluminum tube with smoothly-rounded screw-threads for easier insertion) isn't exactly the most comfy experience, but it sure beats the offended glares and/or derisive snickers from others that I used to get whenever I'd venture out in public after a big meal.

by QuacksO July 3, 2018

Sphinctorectal Digital Cavitation

A fetish where someone slides their finger in their partner's anus then uses the tight pressure to crack their knuckles.

"My girlfriend lets me use her ass for Sphinctorectal Digital Cavitation and my knuckles have never felt better"

by The Random Loon Publisher September 24, 2019

sphincting

Sphincting is the act of farting and wafting the smell into someone else nostrils.

I had to let him know what my fart smelt like, so we began Sphincting.

by Lue Sanus December 14, 2024