A huge bunch of keys carried by little fat security guards because it makes them feel important. The only keys actually used are the ones to his house, his mum's house and his silly white van. The 58 others are ones he's found.
Look at that guy's keyring! He must own lots of houses and cars.
Wrong! What we have here is a cretinous security guard. They're only Pork Scotch Keys. He found most of them. Hasn't a bloody clue what they're for.
What a nobhead.
Wrong! What we have here is a cretinous security guard. They're only Pork Scotch Keys. He found most of them. Hasn't a bloody clue what they're for.
What a nobhead.
by benny twadge May 24, 2009
A manly, wrinkly woman that is the 'girlfriend of Pork Scotch. She has rabbit teeth and is as ugly and manly as Pork Scotch himself. She has a spac grandson and wears old bagish clothes that shit stained schumachers would wear. By going out with her, this proves Pork Scotch's Homosexuality.
Ugghhh! Look, it's Pork Scotch's 'girlfriend'. I hate her! UGLY Bitch!!! Eating garlic bread at the green plastic table with Porky doing his famous drunken dance.
by Ednatoast Jeeganflipperwick May 12, 2009
The type of shit music played by fat old men at barbecues. The music is usually of South African origin and has a rhythm which the fat old man can't resist doing a gay dance to when he gets drunk on rum.
Monk: The barbecue's fine but why the shit music?
Mick: Its Pork Scotch music. The fat twat can't barbecue without it.
Mick: Its Pork Scotch music. The fat twat can't barbecue without it.
by flappy dickwad June 20, 2009
Disgusting tartan boxer shorts worn by boring old men and fat security guards. Usually unwashed and covered with shit stains.
by Flappy Dickwad May 5, 2009
The world's finest pizza topping. The pizza of choice of fat security guards it consists of a Marguerita pizza topped with pork and gravy.
by Lumpbag May 4, 2009
Imaginary friends. People who simply don't exist. A bit like Facebook friends. Named for the fact that Pork Scotch has no friends at all because he is such a complete twat.
Monk: So who's coming to this barbecue then? Pork Scotch's friends?
Dad: You're talking stupid. Pork Scotch doesn't have any friends. He has Pork Scotch friends.
Dad: You're talking stupid. Pork Scotch doesn't have any friends. He has Pork Scotch friends.
by Lumpbag August 16, 2009
A disgusting nig-nog disease given to many innocent people by Pork Scotch after he brought it back from his holiday to South Africa. "Me no pay for cure mon."
Monk: Pork Scotch gave us that virus because i caught it at yours and he just got back from a nogger country.
Mick: You're probably right, it was a case of the Pork Scotch Flu. Ugly, old BASTARD!
Mick: You're probably right, it was a case of the Pork Scotch Flu. Ugly, old BASTARD!
by Ednatoast Jeeganflipperwick May 24, 2009