Periodic table of awesomeness

Much like the periodic table of elements, but the elements are replaced with awesome things, and the name is changed to something much more awesome

Schools should stop teaching kids about the periodic table of elements. It is much more important that students learn all about the periodic table of awesomeness.

by qazxsw 13 January 24, 2013

periodic pump-handle pacification

Refers to da playful vigorous arms-bobbing dat you smilingly give a small child (usually a boy, but a fairly-sturdy girl may enjoy this, as well) every so often during a visit to his folks' residence, whenever he comes around wanting a little attention. Usually a few seconds of grabbing his hands and shaking his arms up and down while making "URuh-URuh-URuh-URuh-URuh-URuh-URuh-URuh!" sounds will happily satisfy him for at least a short time; usually he will patter off and play again, and then you can continue conversion with his parents for a while until he scampers back to you for another "helping".

I always love giving little kids generous doses of periodic pump-handle pacification as a way to keep them satisfied and entertained while I'm engaged in other activities... it's totally fulfilling and attention-giving for them, it's a great way of bonding with them, and it's 100% calorie-free --- i.e, I never get in trouble with their parents for giving them candy or for "feeding them rich snacks before supper" which would make them less hungry for whatever blander-tasking health-food that their parents want them to chow down on instead.

by QuacksO December 7, 2019

periodic table

A woman who has her period periodically on a table.

Ralph was horny and threw Gertrude aggressively on the periodic table periodically.

by shanz604 October 19, 2014

Periodic Table 105

Periodic Table 105 is a refrence to the substance Dubnium

Cory: "Hey man, my mom just got released from the hospital"
Dave: "Periodic Table 105"
Cory: "What?"

by xyvgamer June 29, 2021

Periodic table

Bullshit we don’t need to know to succeed in life unless we’re scientists

I got a 50% on the periodic table of elements because I don’t have time to study.

by AllFactsFromMe March 8, 2019

periodic full attention

It's effectively more or less synonymous with Constant Partial Atention.

So much to do, man, all you can do these days is give CPA to all of them. That way at least everyone gets periodic full attention (PFA).

by vivauganda April 22, 2011

periodic profile-purging

A boring-but-necessary bit of drudgery that must be performed every so often on your Facebook and other online "this is me and my life" pages, to ferret out and delete any derogatory/offensive/useless content that a few lazy-a** hoodlums with excessively-temperish personalities (and an unwillingness to merely talk to you directly/privately if they have a gripe with you about something, instead of just splashing their whimpery B.S. all over your profile's comments-section) and/or way too much time on their hands have posted there, so that other viewers of your profiles will not get any wrong ideas about you (i.e., incorrectly think that whatever is being complained about regarding you is actually valid, invalidly assume that you approve of and/or welcome less-than-decent-or-positive material, etc.).

I have to laboriously perform a periodic profile-purging for my Facebook and Tagged account-pages every few months, but I find it worthwhile, since most people whom I befriend online tell me that they like what they see in my profiles, and no doubt this is largely because I try to keep them "clean and pristine" so that viewers are not offended as they scroll down the pages.

by QuacksO December 2, 2018