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Kraken

A mythical sea beast that lived 250 years ago. He's a massive monster with tentacles, big bug eyes, multicolored skin, and a retarded wiggley smile. The absolute worst of the worst, just fucking rude, smug, good for nothing, worthless punk ass bitch. Straight up needs to see a plastic surgeon because no living creature should have such a fucked up wiggley smile. Nothing more than a shit eating, friend stealing, back stabbing, lying, cheating, sailor killing, boat tipping, fucking tentacle having freak who should get the fuck out of the ocean because every single living soul in the world despises him. Literally the dirt under your shoes that is so repulsive it makes you want to rip out your eyes and donate them to a blind person, only to kill that blind person because that shit was so down right gross, just fucking raunchy. The most ugly, white trash, baby stealing, shit eating mother fucker, just fucking sitting around all day smiling. Straight trash.
"The kraken killed every single person I know because it knew a guy who knew me. He burned my house down too."

"Yo man, I'm sorry to hear about that. I heard one time the kraken sold crack to a school of cancer patients and then blew up a church and burned down all the forests on the east coast."

"Motha fuckin jam!"
by M FUCKING JAM July 29, 2009
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Release the kraken

To pwn, to kick the ass of whomever you're releasing the kraken on
I'm totally going to release the kraken on that test tomorrow
by ashraptor April 1, 2010
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Related Words

Unleash the Kraken

To defecate ferociously. This is not your normal "Number two", it's a savage attack on the porcelain perch.
"Oh dear god, that Taco Bell was a mistake. Time to…

…UNLEASH THE KRAKEN!"
by the-grue April 8, 2010
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kraken hamster

A crazy asian ex-girlfriend who always makes hamster faces, yet continues to stalk exes until police involvement is needed.
Whoa, that girl is a total kraken hamster.
by InnocentBystander1 August 3, 2011
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Kraken on crack

A small dwarf that loves jerking off to digimon and has a pet dolphin that’s retarded UWU
by Blackballsxdxdxd May 14, 2021
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Zombie Kraken

1) A near undefeatable monster of biblical proportions originating from the sea which can survive on land. The Zombie Kraken is capable of devouring the largest of ships and small towns with relative ease. Its quick temper and vengeful nature makes it a beast best avoided.

2) A rock band which documents the many adventures of the Kraken in its un-dead form.
“Here comes the Zombie Kraken! Better make like a tree.”
by KrakenFan September 29, 2012
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Snatch Kraken

When a woman's snatch (female genitalia) releases the Kraken out of it, usually during sexual relations such as intercourse.
"Hey Wesley, did you make her release the snatch kraken last night?"
by micloven01 December 25, 2013
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