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Jacob's Boyfriend

by not chris's dad March 8, 2022
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Jacob’s Dad

A boisterous middle aged man who often enjoys cycling, particularly in ridiculous tight pink Lycra whilst screaming as loud as he can to draw as much attention to himself as possible.

Common traits include stealing his son’s TV as well as the dog bed which he uses for sunbathing in an attempt to lure the household dog back to his local gym. Once successful, he proceeds to perform a handstand by the exercise bikes while screeching signature phrases such as “OOOH YEAH COME OOON!” whilst watching cycling videos on his stolen TV.

He often claims to be 8% body fat yet has not been remotely close since his first Facebook post.
“I’d probably have to go Jacob’s Dad since he’s the most naked”
by MantleLikesKids January 4, 2023
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Jacob's Creek

A nickname for anal sex. commonly confused with a brand of wine.
"hey, i went up Jacob's Creek with sarah last night."
by remmington345 December 19, 2011
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Jacob's Third Law

Men are always right, women are always wrong.
Felice says Thomas is yellow, Thomas says he's not.

According to Jacob's Third Law (by Jacob, who was also a man) Thomas is right, he is not yellow
by William717 April 8, 2009
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jacob's ladder

1)the sex position between 2 guys and a girl. man 1 and the girl get into the 69position while guy # 2 gives it to the girl in the ass.
2)the sex position between 2 guys and a girl where guy #1 lies on his back and bangs girl #1 while guy# 2 bangs her in the ass
gibby is looking fine tonight i cant wait to jacob's ladder her walt said to sean
by C_murph324 August 30, 2006
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Jacob's Lighthouse

When, after a long night a drinking, a guy has intercourse with a girl and she has to stop to run to the bathroom and puke. While bent over the toilet puking the guys comes up from behind, gets on his knees, and starting banging her from behind. The whole time the guy looks around (like a lighthouse) because he knows it is so wrong.
I took that girl home last night and she was so drunk she kept puking in my bathroom. I didn't feel like waiting to finish so I went into the bathroom and gave her a Jacob's Lighthouse.
by Toodles777 December 11, 2012
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Jacob's Ladder

When a turn doesn't detach long enough for it to reach all the way from your butt to the water in the toilet.
I took a huge shit yesterday and a turd just went on and on and on and it became a Jacob's Ladder
by Eshel56765 November 12, 2016
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