god i fucking hate my life

Are you ok? Get some mental help.

you: god i fucking hate my life
me:

First, get up and do something fun. ...
Now, take a dialectical perspective. ...
Consider whether there is something you can change in your life. ...
Get immediate crisis help. ...
Seek long-term professional help.

by Lazar Blade September 18, 2021

oh my god i microwaved the baby

WHat you say when you've done something stupid. This expression catches peoples attention and should not be used in a professional environment. In the right scenario, it can illict laughter. Also used when you've forgotten something important.

For extra effect say: oh my god i forgot to microwave the baby

Dave: Hey Jim, did you remember everthing?

Jim: Umm, i think so- OH MY GOD I MICROWAVED THE BABY!

Shawn: I think thats everything... i packed clothes, locked the door, gave a key to the neighbors...

Brenda: Are you forgetting something

Shawn: *PAUSES* OH MY GOD I FORGOT TO MICROWAVE THE BABY!

by theguitaristwiththeskills March 8, 2010

God I wanna hold a baby raccoon

when you just, really want to hold a baby raccoon. So badly

God I wanna hold a baby raccoon - Lauren P - 6/17/22, 11:58 am

by 2doorsdown June 17, 2022

i see no god up here other then me

a meme with a cat on a post

Cat on a post: i see no god up here OTHER THEN ME

by riley333344566 September 26, 2020

I swear to god, I'll fill your sinuses with urine.

A great threat for if someone is being particularly bothersome or you want to somehow lose their contact. Let's say your ex won't stop texting you after it's been a month since you've broken up and you want to just- scare them off a little bit. Maybe even get 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 to block 𝘺𝘰𝘶. This is the perfect threat for you.

Take one more step towards me and I swear to god, I'll fill your sinuses with urine.

by GenderIsBullCrap January 28, 2021

I Truly Believe Gods Are For Personal Computers

I Truly Believe Gods Are For Personal Computers

I Truly Believe Gods Are For Personal Computers

by Angel234IsTheDarkSeraphim March 26, 2025

I swear to god no crosses count

U know when you say I swear to god and cross ur fingers to say I actually don’t swear to god
But when u say I swear to god no crosses count that means when you cross ur fingers u still will swear to god.

Bro I saw a gorilla outside ur house
No u didn’t

I did!
Say you swear to god no crosses count
I swear to god no crosses count

by Partygoer n kingsheep January 8, 2024