Jerking off with the non-dominant hand

V. To engage in the sexual act of "jerking off" with the hand that was not intended, by God, for that purpose.

Linked in case studies to the acquisition of carpal tunnel by exposing your "wanker" to odd angles of hand movement.

See also: Awkward masturbation techniques.
See also: The ouewwwwww face.

Andrew, upon getting home from school Wednesday, attempted to shag his dog with his left hand, which he had never used before. Having missed out on years of practiced stroking, the left hand was inconsistent, uncooperative, and altogether an awkward and unfortunate choice. Andrew has decided that there will be no more jerking off with the non-dominant hand ever again.

by Gee Twat December 30, 2009

Rip off your ass and hand it to you

To beat someone so bad that their ass becomes a jiggling mass of gel hanging off their spine, allowing you to rip it off and place it in their hands as they collapse into a heap of excruciating pain. After the beaten person finishes convulsing, you place their severed posterior next to their lips so that it looks like they are kissing their own ass while posting hilarious videos to social media.

You disrespect me and I'll rip off your ass and hand it to you!!!

by IGKYA53 October 2, 2020

second-hand offense

The irritating process in which someone gets offended by something FOR someone else before they get offended, even if they wouldn't actually get offended by it. Most commonly observed on social networking platform: Twitter.

Mei: *name is Mei*
Modern Twitter users: Ur name is Mei? :/ please stop appropriating japanese names. we know ur name is amanda or basic white name
Mei: I'm literally asian help
Me: Do not fret, they are suffering second-hand offense

by 10:20am September 16, 2021

offer a hand

To give someone pleasure, and get something you want in return.

I will offer a hand if you buy me diamonds?.

by JailBait33 May 16, 2018

Texas handoff

Where a teenage girl gives birth in a taco mayo bathroom, after giving birth she busts out of the bathroom and pitches the newborn like a football to the cashier and runs out of the door

Hayley did the Texas handoff and is having her trial now

by Lokig November 5, 2018

Fast Food Handoff

Wait for a car to order a bunch of food at a drive-thru restaurant

Watch the car pull around to the window and wait for the cashier to hand the food bag out the window

While the bag is being exchanged you run inbetween the car and the window, snatch the bag, and run to a secret hiding spot where you can enjoy your ganked food

This can be done with no harm to a stranger as the car's order will be remade for them. It can also be done in league with a friend as you can select exactly what food you want and have that order doubled (but you have to act surprised or pisst in the car; and maybe have the passenger get out and chase the thief to make it seem believable)

Remember, many drive-thrus have cameras so its suggested to conceal your identity with a mask of some sort; the HAMBURGLAR costume will suffice

Driver: What the FUCK?! Freak just Stole my food!

Cashier: No, thats the Hamburglar, He does a fast food handoff here every now and then, we'll have to remake your order.

ganked pisst hamburglar fast food handoff

by Blarger.boy August 5, 2009

fake handoff

During the exchange between male and female. A willing female plants herself on all fours, while in the position of doggystyle. A male is giving a 110%, right before ejactulation, he will lovingly spit on the female's backside. Once finished the female will turnaround, and to her surprise recieves quick and abrupt shot to the eye with the special sauce.

Sally didn't see that fake handoff coming.

by L. Keen September 21, 2003