(n): The female counterpart to the "Guido" specimen. Exclusive to North America, these creatures are usually of Italian-American decsent. A Guidette can be recognized by her orange color, similar to that of the common tangerine, and their either very light or very dark hair. Guidettes have an overly sexual demeanor, and will often emit high pitch shreiks to attract mates. A creature of habit, the Guidette will spend an excessive amount of time on her appearance, and will usually prefer to don very light lipstick (often to referred to by experts as 'Semen Lipstick'), brands such as Ed Hardy, BeBe and Juicy Couture. Scientists believe they are very tolerant to chemical exposure, as Guidettes will use 3-4 cannisters of hairspray in one day alone.
Although reproduction has not been studied in this species, the Guidette will usually have anywhere from 100 to 200 sexual partners in her lifetime. However, some specimens were found to have exceeded these numbers by the age of thirty.
Common health problems reported in the species include, but are not limited to, alcoholism, venarial diseases (Most often strains of hepititis and herpes), sagging and wrinkled skin with a leathery texture and brain death.
(Sources:
The U.S. Wildlife and Game Adminstration
The U.S. Center for Disease Control)
Although reproduction has not been studied in this species, the Guidette will usually have anywhere from 100 to 200 sexual partners in her lifetime. However, some specimens were found to have exceeded these numbers by the age of thirty.
Common health problems reported in the species include, but are not limited to, alcoholism, venarial diseases (Most often strains of hepititis and herpes), sagging and wrinkled skin with a leathery texture and brain death.
(Sources:
The U.S. Wildlife and Game Adminstration
The U.S. Center for Disease Control)
by MArie8773 January 2, 2010
Get the Guidette mug.A book never published on Earth, and until a terrible catastrophe occurred in an alternate probability in 1979, never seen or even heard of by any Earthman.
Nevertheless, a wholly remarkable book.
In fact, it was probably the most remarkable book ever to come out of the great publishing corporations of Ursa Minor- of which no Earthman had ever herd either.
No only is it a wholly remarkable book, it is also a highly successful one- more popular than "Celestial Home Care Omnibus," better selling than "Fifty-three More Things to Do in Zero Gravity," and more controversial than Oolon Colluphid's trilogy of philosophical blockbusters, "Where God Went Wrong," "Some More of God's Greatest Mistakes," and "Who Is This God Person Anyway?"
In many of the more relaxed civilizations on the Outer Eastern Rim of the Galaxy, The "Hitchhiker's Guide" has already supplanted the great "Encyclopedia Galactica" as the standard repository of all knowledge and wisdom, for though it has many omissions and contains much that is apocryphal, or at least widely inaccurate, it scores over the older, more pedestrian work in two important respects.
1. It is slightly cheaper.
2. It has the words DON'T PANIC inscribed in large friendly letters on its cover.
Nevertheless, a wholly remarkable book.
In fact, it was probably the most remarkable book ever to come out of the great publishing corporations of Ursa Minor- of which no Earthman had ever herd either.
No only is it a wholly remarkable book, it is also a highly successful one- more popular than "Celestial Home Care Omnibus," better selling than "Fifty-three More Things to Do in Zero Gravity," and more controversial than Oolon Colluphid's trilogy of philosophical blockbusters, "Where God Went Wrong," "Some More of God's Greatest Mistakes," and "Who Is This God Person Anyway?"
In many of the more relaxed civilizations on the Outer Eastern Rim of the Galaxy, The "Hitchhiker's Guide" has already supplanted the great "Encyclopedia Galactica" as the standard repository of all knowledge and wisdom, for though it has many omissions and contains much that is apocryphal, or at least widely inaccurate, it scores over the older, more pedestrian work in two important respects.
1. It is slightly cheaper.
2. It has the words DON'T PANIC inscribed in large friendly letters on its cover.
by Gorblax May 2, 2005
Get the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy mug.Related Words
The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy — not an Earth book, never published on Earth, and until the terrible catastrophe occurred, never seen or heard of by any Earthman.
Nevertheless, a wholly remarkable book.
in fact it was probably the most remarkable book ever to come out of the great publishing houses of Ursa Minor — of which no Earthman had ever heard either.
Not only is it a wholly remarkable book, it is also a highly successful one — more popular than the Celestial Home Care Omnibus, better selling than Fifty More Things to do in Zero Gravity, and more controversial than Oolon Colluphid's trilogy of philosophical blockbusters Where God Went Wrong, Some More of God's Greatest Mistakes and Who is this God Person Anyway?
In many of the more relaxed civilizations on the Outer Eastern Rim of the Galaxy, the Hitch Hiker's Guide has already supplanted the great Encyclopedia Galactica as the standard repository of all knowledge and wisdom, for though it has many omissions and contains much that is apocryphal, or at least wildly inaccurate, it scores over the older, more pedestrian work in two important respects.
First, it is slightly cheaper; and secondly it has the words Don't Panic inscribed in large friendly letters on its cover.
Nevertheless, a wholly remarkable book.
in fact it was probably the most remarkable book ever to come out of the great publishing houses of Ursa Minor — of which no Earthman had ever heard either.
Not only is it a wholly remarkable book, it is also a highly successful one — more popular than the Celestial Home Care Omnibus, better selling than Fifty More Things to do in Zero Gravity, and more controversial than Oolon Colluphid's trilogy of philosophical blockbusters Where God Went Wrong, Some More of God's Greatest Mistakes and Who is this God Person Anyway?
In many of the more relaxed civilizations on the Outer Eastern Rim of the Galaxy, the Hitch Hiker's Guide has already supplanted the great Encyclopedia Galactica as the standard repository of all knowledge and wisdom, for though it has many omissions and contains much that is apocryphal, or at least wildly inaccurate, it scores over the older, more pedestrian work in two important respects.
First, it is slightly cheaper; and secondly it has the words Don't Panic inscribed in large friendly letters on its cover.
Here's what the Encyclopedia Galactica has to say about alcohol. It says that alcohol is a colourless volatile liquid formed by the fermentation of sugars and also notes its intoxicating effect on certain carbon-based life forms.
The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy also mentions alcohol. It says that the best drink in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster.
It says that the effect of a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick.
The Guide also tells you on which planets the best Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters are mixed, how much you can expect to pay for one and what voluntary organizations exist to help you rehabilitate afterwards.
The Guide even tells you how you can mix one yourself.
Take the juice from one bottle of that Ol' Janx Spirit, it says.
Pour into it one measure of water from the seas of Santraginus V — Oh that Santraginean sea water, it says. Oh those Santraginean fish!!!
Allow three cubes of Arcturan Mega-gin to melt into the mixture (it must be properly iced or the benzine is lost).
Allow four litres of Fallian marsh gas to bubble through it, in memory of all those happy Hikers who have died of pleasure in the Marshes of Fallia.
Over the back of a silver spoon float a measure of Qualactin Hypermint extract, redolent of all the heady odours of the dark Qualactin Zones, subtle sweet and mystic.
Drop in the tooth of an Algolian Suntiger. Watch it dissolve, spreading the fires of the Algolian Suns deep into the heart of the drink.
Sprinkle Zamphuor.
Add an olive.
Drink ... but ... very carefully ...
The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy sells rather better than the Encyclopedia Galactica.
The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy also mentions alcohol. It says that the best drink in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster.
It says that the effect of a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick.
The Guide also tells you on which planets the best Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters are mixed, how much you can expect to pay for one and what voluntary organizations exist to help you rehabilitate afterwards.
The Guide even tells you how you can mix one yourself.
Take the juice from one bottle of that Ol' Janx Spirit, it says.
Pour into it one measure of water from the seas of Santraginus V — Oh that Santraginean sea water, it says. Oh those Santraginean fish!!!
Allow three cubes of Arcturan Mega-gin to melt into the mixture (it must be properly iced or the benzine is lost).
Allow four litres of Fallian marsh gas to bubble through it, in memory of all those happy Hikers who have died of pleasure in the Marshes of Fallia.
Over the back of a silver spoon float a measure of Qualactin Hypermint extract, redolent of all the heady odours of the dark Qualactin Zones, subtle sweet and mystic.
Drop in the tooth of an Algolian Suntiger. Watch it dissolve, spreading the fires of the Algolian Suns deep into the heart of the drink.
Sprinkle Zamphuor.
Add an olive.
Drink ... but ... very carefully ...
The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy sells rather better than the Encyclopedia Galactica.
by MTCaptain August 15, 2006
Get the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy mug.
Get the the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy mug.by Guinness2702 June 24, 2005
Get the Guiness mug.by arthur dent June 17, 2003
Get the the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy mug.To have someone tell you what to do when you’re touching yourself. They control your movements and direct you on what exactly to do in order to cum.
by ribbit January 28, 2019
Get the guided masturbation mug.