Generally, a government employee or environmental consultant who has no practical field skills or an understanding of ecology.
Unable to navigate in the bush without the aid of a touch screen device. Turn up into the field dressed in completely new clothes, almost always in khaki and predominately featuring an outdoors store latest season catalogue. Various digital accoutrements hang off their belt to help with managing the wilderness. Prone to printing off a small woodlands worth of paperwork with every page colour coded, labelled and compartmentalised in corresponding coloured manilla folders. Cannot change a tyre.
Spend the majority of their time in the office obsessing of minor inconsequential details which will be overlooked by the client. Readily plot survey points on a map with scant regard for topography, vegetation density or difficulty of access for which they will then send out contractors to complete the actual work. Dislike meetings but will tolerate them for the tiny catered sandwiches during mid-morning tea. Drink soy lattes.
Have the fitness of a wounded gazelle. Consider light wind a significant hazard and will accordingly cancel the days work. Accustomed to hefty meal allowances of which most will be spent on sourdough and chia seeds. Don’t like spiders or things getting in their hair. Find fieldwork emotionally and physically traumatising despite their Instagram hashtags indicating otherwise.
Readily identify as an ‘ecologist’ in their email signature.
Unable to navigate in the bush without the aid of a touch screen device. Turn up into the field dressed in completely new clothes, almost always in khaki and predominately featuring an outdoors store latest season catalogue. Various digital accoutrements hang off their belt to help with managing the wilderness. Prone to printing off a small woodlands worth of paperwork with every page colour coded, labelled and compartmentalised in corresponding coloured manilla folders. Cannot change a tyre.
Spend the majority of their time in the office obsessing of minor inconsequential details which will be overlooked by the client. Readily plot survey points on a map with scant regard for topography, vegetation density or difficulty of access for which they will then send out contractors to complete the actual work. Dislike meetings but will tolerate them for the tiny catered sandwiches during mid-morning tea. Drink soy lattes.
Have the fitness of a wounded gazelle. Consider light wind a significant hazard and will accordingly cancel the days work. Accustomed to hefty meal allowances of which most will be spent on sourdough and chia seeds. Don’t like spiders or things getting in their hair. Find fieldwork emotionally and physically traumatising despite their Instagram hashtags indicating otherwise.
Readily identify as an ‘ecologist’ in their email signature.
Standing at the precipice of a volcano looking down into a cauldron of boiling, angry lava.
Ecologist 1: Who put the site down there?
Ecologist 2: A fucking café ecologist.
Ecologist 1: Who put the site down there?
Ecologist 2: A fucking café ecologist.
by The Angry Biologist October 16, 2019
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Get the beachwood cafe mug.A bloated and bulbous creature that came from the outer reaches of space. This creature enjoys sticking foreign objects up it's waste disposal hole in order to gross out those who anger it. The GE Cafe also enjoys viewing horrible sketch comedy shows and annoying those who post on internet messageboards
So I saw the GE Cafe creature and it was hideous. The thing had a penis shaped metal rod coming out of it's rear end! Plus it's tits sagged down so low to the ground that they looked like another pair of legs
by Bird boy September 22, 2008
Get the GE Cafe mug.Glitter. Like the STD herpes, once you have glitter on you, you cannot get rid of it. If you have glitter on you and you touch someone, they will suddenly have glitter on them. You may think that you have washed it all off, but one day you will be in the right light and notice it on you somewhere.
There are many forms of craft herpes, including:
+Low-grade chunky - The kind that is usually used in grade school. Easiest of the outbreaks to wash off
+Glitter glue/liquid squeeze on - Harder to wash away than low-grade chunky due to the fact that it is in some form of an adhesive.
+Fine to micro-fine - Commonly called pixie or fairy dust due to it's resemblance to effect used in movies to show the "magic". The hardest form to remove and the easiest to get. It is dust like and is everywhere. Often found at parties, fairs, and anywhere that people dressed as pixies or fairies can be found-usually being blown into crowds of people by the handful.
There are many forms of craft herpes, including:
+Low-grade chunky - The kind that is usually used in grade school. Easiest of the outbreaks to wash off
+Glitter glue/liquid squeeze on - Harder to wash away than low-grade chunky due to the fact that it is in some form of an adhesive.
+Fine to micro-fine - Commonly called pixie or fairy dust due to it's resemblance to effect used in movies to show the "magic". The hardest form to remove and the easiest to get. It is dust like and is everywhere. Often found at parties, fairs, and anywhere that people dressed as pixies or fairies can be found-usually being blown into crowds of people by the handful.
+"I was at the party when that wanna be raver started spreading craft herpes! I think she threw a bag of fairy dust in the fan!"
+"I thought I'd gotten it all weeks ago but when I looked in the mirror just now, I had a piece of glitter by my eye!"
+"Just when I thought I was safe, this girl came up to me and sprayed me with something. I looked and I was covered with glitter! They have spray on craft herpes now!"
+"I thought I'd gotten it all weeks ago but when I looked in the mirror just now, I had a piece of glitter by my eye!"
+"Just when I thought I was safe, this girl came up to me and sprayed me with something. I looked and I was covered with glitter! They have spray on craft herpes now!"
by Kitysrblk June 21, 2011
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Get the Craffee mug.A television cook-show hosted by Randy Marsh.
Making sure you keep your cooking fresh with Cafeteria Fraiche, you must remember to keep it fraiche.
Making sure you keep your cooking fresh with Cafeteria Fraiche, you must remember to keep it fraiche.
Cafeteria Fraiche;
"Now olive oil does have a low smoke point so keep that heat low and keep it fraiiiichee. OHh OHH thats so F*cking hot, look at that crust its perfect, F*ck Yeah!''
"Now olive oil does have a low smoke point so keep that heat low and keep it fraiiiichee. OHh OHH thats so F*cking hot, look at that crust its perfect, F*ck Yeah!''
by Cheelos November 23, 2010
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