The worst ISP in the united states. They are one of the many companies that do not give two fucks about what you want. You pay for high-speed internet. they give you the wrong speed, when questioned they say it was just a goof.
Me: Why the fuck is my internet so slow?
Comcast: because half of the speed you pay for is lost on its way to your house
Me: That's bullshit, that doesn't even make logical sense!
Comcast: it's because we are Comcast. We don't give a fuck about what you paid for you useless cunt faggot ass bitch.
Comcast: because half of the speed you pay for is lost on its way to your house
Me: That's bullshit, that doesn't even make logical sense!
Comcast: it's because we are Comcast. We don't give a fuck about what you paid for you useless cunt faggot ass bitch.
by DickwadCumberpatch February 27, 2016
Pejorative, in honor of the infamous cable provider. Used to describe someone who treats everyone with utter contempt and goes to incredible lengths to inconvenience and even sabotage everyone they're involved with in any and every way possible. Denies any responsibility for doing so.
1. Tim is such a giant comcast, why are we even friends with him?
2. "John, you comcast! I know you're stealing money from me!"
*denies taking any money*
"Dude I saw you do it."
"Well ok, I was just providing a service. Your wallet is lighter now, isn't it?"
"Gimme my money back, you fucking comcast!"
2. "John, you comcast! I know you're stealing money from me!"
*denies taking any money*
"Dude I saw you do it."
"Well ok, I was just providing a service. Your wallet is lighter now, isn't it?"
"Gimme my money back, you fucking comcast!"
by Hodor123 March 6, 2015
A large corporation of dumbass cocksuckers who want to steal your money and give you shit service. In early 2012, they added a type of program to where you have a data cap. Yes, a data cap. A data cap of 300GBs. This data cap is easy to go over with things such as streaming, downloading things, etc. Every 1GB you go over, you have to pay $10. This shitty company is a monopoly and they don't give two single shits about you. If you live in the states: Alabama; Tucson, Arizona; Atlanta, Augusta and Savannah, Georgia; Central Kentucky; Maine; Jackson, Mississippi; Knoxville, Nashville and Memphis, Tennessee; and Charleston, South Carolina, you are absolutely fucked internet-wise. Fuck you Comcast, you dumb fucking cunts!
Person 1: Hey dude, did you get your internet bill?
Person 2: Yes I did.
Person 1: How much was it in total?
Person 2: Oh, umm, let me check. Oh yeah, it was around $300.
Person 1: Really? Why so much?
Person 2: Because Comcast is a cocksucking, money-stealing, monopoly corporation who doesn't give a shit about their customers and their well-being.
Person 1: Lol, rekt, I have DirectTV.
Person 2: Yes I did.
Person 1: How much was it in total?
Person 2: Oh, umm, let me check. Oh yeah, it was around $300.
Person 1: Really? Why so much?
Person 2: Because Comcast is a cocksucking, money-stealing, monopoly corporation who doesn't give a shit about their customers and their well-being.
Person 1: Lol, rekt, I have DirectTV.
by Joseph Adolf Hitler Stalin March 1, 2015
Customer service tactic of pretending to assist with the customer's request while dragging out the process in the hopes that they will give up and cancel their request.
I wanted to cancel my Columbia Records subscription but they Comcasted me so hard I finally just hung up with my membership intact.
by TimeWarnerIsTheWorst February 14, 2018
by Shigalig February 1, 2018
by Comcaster May 21, 2013