cockney

Cockney is an area in London where criminals live. The police don't arrest them because (and they're very strict about this) they only slaughter their own. And they have funerals with horses and floral tributes that say things like "Mum" and "Stab."

Cockney: I'm a cockney, I'm from London, which is spelt S-H-I-T-H-O-L-E and where you're guaranteed to be either mugged or not appreciated.

by Sonya Partridge November 25, 2009

cockney

Someone who pretends to be from London when they are really just close by.

cockney Hey, I'm from Luton! I'm a cockney Innit?
northerner You what? at thee end of thee day...

by Mr Bobla November 14, 2005

cockney

Arrogant, violent, and it many cases unwashed vermin from the east end of London. Lucky they are being wiped out due to rapid London immigration.

Cockney to Cockney at a West Ham match: 'Look, there's some away fans, let's beat them all up even if there are children among them'

by jk5_1986 October 22, 2016

Cockney neck

When you have been speaking to much cockney and it does your neck in.

Nick: "do you have any idea why jack is wearing that ridiculous neck brace?"

Jane: "the doctor said he has to wear it after his trip to croydon. He's got a nasty case of cockney neck."

by roflmaonaze May 6, 2010

Cockney Wanker

Someone from London, usually second hand car salesmen, who read the sun newspaper, call all women " dawlin' " (trans: darling) and general ponce about the place like they are something special.

Cor Blimey Guvnah, I'm a cockney wanker, and no mistake!

by Mike Read July 27, 2003

Cockney Wanker

Person of London-sounding accent

"Oi, wainkah, wheres me fackin jellied eels"

"knees ap mavva braaan"

by Stevie October 16, 2003

Cockney jungle

A state of miscommunication which originates from a mishearing of a word said in conversation which leads to a situation in which people are no longer following the same subjects of conversation.

"After they misheard each other they both ended up in a cockney jungle"

by Angelirical January 1, 2023