Baptized

The task of baptizing someone requires 3 people (atleast 2 of these people need male genitalia). The easiest place to baptize someone is in community showers or even outside if it is raining. Person #1 stretches out his scronum making a small bowl to collect water. Person #2 dick slaps Person #1's scronum splashing the collected water onto Person #3's face who is kneeling, thus baptizing him/her.

Carl: Hey Dave Joe wants to get baptized! I call being person #1!
Dave: Woohoo!
Carl: Look how much water is in my sack!
Dave: Can we wait 20 minutes? Im hard!
Joe: No, I want it now! And it's better if you're hard.
Dave: Alright here goes nothing.
Carl: Im getting hard too now hahaha!
*splash*
Joe: ahhhh! The power of christ compels me!

by Nohomo69 August 8, 2015

baptize your car

Baptizing your car is when you exceed 100 mph for the first time.

I’m about to baptize your car.

by mbergy April 18, 2018

Toilet Baptize

completely translated from the swedish expression "toalettdöpa" (toilet baptize) which is the same as "swirling". you grab a guy and put his head down into a toilet and then flush!

Next time that guy shows up, we're gonna toilet baptize him

by Eddie Dexx October 9, 2010

baptize

To smack or "bap" someone upside the head or forehead. Can be used in reference to shows (etc.) that consist of someone believed to be a healer doing the work of God. These said "healers" will violently thrust their hand upon (bap) the person needing healed's head, forehead, or face. This is intended to cure said victim.

Seth: "Did you just see that dude baptize Eric?"

Sara: "He can walk again! Can that guy cure his new concussion?"

by Master Ali June 29, 2007

baptizee

to spread your baby yogurt all over a girl after performing a swish in basketball

damn, johnny got to baptizee like 3 girls last night after making that smexy 3 point shot

by armandonottouch January 15, 2011

baptized by freedom

When a Bald Eagle shits on your head while flying over you.

Mike was baptized by freedom while he was looking up to see a Bald Eagle fly overhead.

by strykermech June 12, 2019

Baptize

From Greek baptizien:
To affect thoroughly for purification, to renew or establish a relationship with God.

Implication:

Jesus was baptised on the cross at Calgary because He was thouroughly affected by 'the payment of the ransom held by Satan for humanities sin' and His love was purified (void of hate), and humanity could now renew or establish a relationship with Him; God; our Father; our Creator.

"And I myself did not know him, but the one who sent me to baptize with water told me, ‘The man on whom you see the Spirit come down and remain is the one who will baptize with the Holy Spirit.’"
John 1:33 NIV

by North Star State of Mind June 2, 2021