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bessie :)

the bessest bessie of all the bessies.
omg hey bessie :) how r u.
by teufel_17 April 18, 2021
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Bessie, the Late Night Lockbox

A small, unremarkable lockbox. Used to store loose change acquired by the staff of "Late Night with Conan O'Brien." Tended by Backstage Larry.
"So what we've done for the past couple of years, is we've had everyone on staff put all the extra change that they come up with whenever they go get a cup of coffee or anything into Bessie, and this money has been building for years and years."
-- Conan O'Brien
by Kilty McBagpipes January 16, 2005
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Bessie the cow

To pass the time, Bessie the cow and her friend Elsie like to play a version of a game they saw at the county fair.
To start, Bessie puts three inverted shells on a table and places a small round pebble under one of them (at least she hopes it is a pebble -- she found it on the ground in one of the pastures). Bessie then proceeds to swap pairs of shells, while Elsie tries to guess the location of the pebble.

The standard version of the game the cows saw being played at the county fair allowed the player to see the initial location of the pebble, and then required guessing its final location after all the swaps were complete.

However, the cows like to play a version where Elsie does not know the initial location of the pebble, and where she can guess the pebble location after every swap. Bessie, knowing the right answer, gives Elsie a score at the end equal to the number of correct guesses she made.

Given the swaps and the guesses, but not the initial pebble location, please determine the highest possible score Elsie could have earned.
by 0mnip0tent November 6, 2020
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Bessie the cow

Bessie the cow was one of the biggest cows and animals to ever walk the earth. She was bigger than most mountains. She was so big that all of the dairy products today come from Bessie herself.

Bessie was married to Beefie the cow, who was also huge like her. All the meat products in the world come from Beefie. Eventually they had a child, and named him Befesie the cow. This cow, according to prophecy, will one day consume the universe, protecting all living creatures inside it.

Bessie, Beefie and Befesie are in fact the only real cows ever to live. All other cows are robots made by the government.

Many people still worship the great Bessie, Beefie and Befessie today.
Child: Mom, where does milk come from?

Mom: From Bessie the Cow of course!
by SqueakyPig17 May 10, 2020
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bessie pressie

A present or gift that someone buys or makes for one of their best friends.
When she went to Disneyland she bought tsum tsums as bessie pressies.
by Lou Hands June 16, 2016
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Bessie Smith

American blues singer (1894-1937), also known as "The Empress of the Blues." One of the greatest vocalists of ALL TIME.
That's Bessie Smith singing "Ain't Nobody's Bizness If I Do." She could really sing the roof off of a house!
by bizzlereezy May 27, 2011
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bessie french

The act of vigorously eating out a cows arsehole and then making out with one's significant other then proceeding to tell them what you have done.
Bob:hmmmm...which one ah. she looks nice and old.
*munch*
*slop*
*MOOOOOOOO*

~later that evening~

Linda:OH god that tastes like...GOD DAMMIT BOB,Bessie French AGAIN!!!
by Cattlin December 30, 2007
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