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Dad

A family member that is usually non-existent, obsessed with white stuff such as milk and cocaine.
Since your dad is slow in the head, it will take him about 5 minutes to realize he doesn't have enough money to buy the milk. Going to

work, guessing about 30 miles from the store in the opposite direction of your house, it takes him, with the given 0.05 mph, about 600 hours or 0.07 years, to get to his work.

That is if, and only if, a cop does not pull over your father for the 200th time for diving immensely slow. It would be a usual sentence of fewer than 30 days. However, your father has been there a lot and the judge has had enough of your father being a public nuisance. This makes the judge sentence your father to jail time for 50 years. Worst-case scenario, your father is sentenced to a lifetime jail residence so make that infinite years.

However, let's not think that way. He gets to work and has to work for the listed 950, 000 days (roughly 2666.67 years). Getting back to the store will take another 0.07 years, buying the milk will take about 50 more years with the state your father's mind is in. Finally, it will take another 697.01 years to get home.

Totaled up, this is an approximate 4160.83 years for your father to come back home with the milk. Unfortunately, the milk is spoiled by the time he gets home, unless it's the special "Never Go Bad Milk" brand, which is probably not the case since your father probably read the label wrong and got the "Goes Bad in 3 Seconds Milk" brand instead. Thus repeating the never-ending cycle.
by Owoance January 16, 2023
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Dad-gazing

When your father wants to keep sitting around and talking on the jobsite after a twelve hour workday.
I didn't have enough time to make my appointment because my father was busy dad-gazing.
by Assthrasher2000 May 4, 2018
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dad

Person 1: hey my dad just went to go get some milk

Person 2:welp he ain't coming back
by jsjdjsjfjeudbdbdhddjdh June 5, 2022
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Dads before lads

The unwritten law that your dad should always become before bros (male friends).
Frank: Are you still available to help me out tomorrow?
Brian: Sorry dude, but my dad just asked me to go on a motorcycle trip tomorrow.
Frank: No problem bro, dads before lads!
by EluminateNL May 20, 2020
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Ouch dad

A term used at football games on the intercom to express distaste
Quarterback is sacked, end result safety.

Announcer: Ouch Dad!
by Skinnyboy9 March 31, 2010
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Coles Crossing Dad

Synonym of Based, refers to guys who are cool dudes, just in general some pretty chill fellas.
by Corvidae88 July 24, 2024
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dad

the one who always says the will get milk from the store but never came back to prevent that order milk instead
my dad has been gone for 3 years please help!
by why does this happen to me February 4, 2022
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