Rectum? Damn Near Killed 'Em

A punchline to a joke, the whole joke is almost never heard.

There are various setups to this punchline. Here's one:

One day Johnny walked into the classroom, and the teacher said, 'Johnny, do you have your report done?' He replied, 'no ma'am.' She said, 'if you don't have it done by tomorrow then I'm going to make a call to your parents.'

As Johnny is walking home from school he looks to his left and sees two greyhounds racing,and one gets so far ahead of the other one that it just stops and the other one rams its head right up its a**.

Johnny takes out a piece of paper and writes it all down, saying to himself, 'This is going to be my report.'

The next day at school the teacher says, 'Johnny, do you have your report done?' He says, 'sure do.' So he goes up to the front of the class and starts telling them what he saw. 'Yesterday I was walking home from school when I saw these two greyhounds racing, and one rammed its head right up the other's a**.' The teacher says, 'Johnny, we don't use the word 'a**' in the classroom, it's rectum.' Johnny said, "Rectum? Damn near killed 'Em."

Or this shorter version:

Teacher: So Johnny, how was your weekend?
Johnny: Horrible. A car hit my dog, right in the a**!
Teacher (correcting Johnny's language): Rectum.
Johnny: Wrecked 'em? Damn near killed 'em!

by the_only_real_coffee_sloth September 10, 2009

cowboy killers

Marlboro Full Flavor Cigarettes/ Marlboro Reds. Given name cause of old ads with the "Marlboro Man", a cowboy who smokes Marlboros.

Kid 1: got smokes?

Kid 2: yea cowboy killers

by carlbittner March 26, 2009

Killercajun

A damn, dirty racist who no one likes. He owns four slaves, yet his best friend is his black sexual partner, Butch.

Killercajun, you are such a fag.

Hahaha, Cajun, you got owned by a battleship!

by DarkEntity December 9, 2008

Killer Nigger

A Black person who'd be triggered in the smallest nature of provocation, and act in the most ill suited manner as his retribution, which would be way above or supersede the level of initial level of instigation. In most cases it ends with one nigger killing another nigger for the smallest thing.

Ex -
Soulja : Maaaaan, yo mama a hoe!!!!!!!!!
Tyrese: Nigga what you say???? (Pulls out a gun and shoots Soulja)
Sharmice : (Standing Nearby) Maaaan Tyrese such a killer nigger. A nigga disrespect his momma, that nigga dead.

by Heinrich98 October 12, 2018

you killed kenny

The common catch phrase used by the characters in South Park. Also followed by Cart man saying your a filthy Jew Kyle!

you killed kenny would be used after kenny was killed like a little Jew

by _XXX_Eugene December 1, 2017

video killed the radio star

The name of the first ever music video played on MTV.

Barbara: (Back in 1981) Oh yay Video Killed the Radio Star is coming on in a few minutes!

by Jackie Dee!! August 6, 2006

i know who killed me

That god-awful 2007 movie with Lindsay Lohan. She played a stripper with one leg and one arm. And she had a twin that her dad stole from his mom's fetus.

The movie came out after she was charged for DUI and cocaine possession, making her a bigging laughingstock than she already was. Quite a feat.

"In the gory psychological thriller “I Know Who Killed Me,” Ms. Lohan plays a wealthy college student who writes fiction, excels at the piano and refuses to sleep with her boyfriend...(and also plays) a stripper with a crackhead mom. No prizes for guessing which performance is more believable."
--Jeanette Catsoulis, New York Times

by dilary huff August 20, 2007