Tales of a Gaper

The soon to be released novel that chronicles the story of a Whale and a Mouse that prove their love to one another through gaping.

Have you read “Tales of a Gaper” yet? It changed my life.

by Lrfbb July 27, 2021

Tale of Whoa!

A story of compound misfortunes so unlikely that the listener responds with terminal skepticism.

He listened respectfully at first, filled with compassion, tears forming in his eyes as she narrated having been abandoned as an infant, left in a dumpster high in the Sierra-Nevadas, rescued by dumpster-diving circus riders who put her, untethered, on the back of a jumping stallion every night till she was sixteen. Years later, escaping one night off the coast of San Diego she waded into the ocean, hoping to end it all, only to be netted by Tijuana shrimp fishermen who forced her to peel shrimp for years in a rickety boat, the best life she's ever known, before falling overboard in a hurricane and washing ashore in San Francisco at the precise moment an 7.4 earthquake hit. How she got to the Greyhound station in Sparks she was still unclear, and could he spare a hundred bucks to help her find her rightful family, whom, she believed, might at this moment be remorsefully searching for her on the outskirts of Death Valley. By now dry-eyed and stone-hearted, he reached into his wallet for a five, which he slipped into the outer pocket of her spangled handbag and, not looking back, hopped quickly onto his bus while she prattled on with her Tale of Whoa!

by Monkey's Dad July 6, 2021

Todd Howard's tall tales

Next to having little hands and little eyes, Tiny Todd "Tippy Toes" Howard is known for walking around in high heels and tellin' great big lies. His long-suffering wifelet says that he's got a little schmeckle and tiny little teeth. He wears platform shoes on his nasty little feet. When detected in public it's evident that he's got little baby legs and that he stands so low, even a child would have to pick him up just to say hello! He should get in his little car and just go beep, beep, beep because nobody cares about his deceptive manletspeak. We don't want no more tall tales around here.

Manmore 1: Oh great, Bethesda is releasing another overpriced shovelware role-playing game soon. Little Napoleon Howard promised to finally add a height slider to the character creation menu this time. Manmore 2: That's just another one of Todd Howard's tall tales! That dwarfishly stunted, petite and effeminate microscopic runt of a homunculus Ewok sissy manlet boy is way too insecure about his laughably girlish height to ever permit such a thing. Manmore 1: What a meddling manlet he is! Short people got no reason. Manmore 2: Hahahahaha!

by ManletDepreciator September 13, 2024

tall tales

Tall tales are manlet cope, also known as short stories and leprechaun lies. Invariably expressed to you from far below by little voices, goin' peep, peep, peep, tellin' great big lies in their hissy fit manletspeak while wearing platform shoes on their nasty, little feet - just lol at tall tales telling short people 'round here. The content of tall tales often includes but is not limited to: manlet mathematics and guy height relating to the microscopic manlet's ludicrously ladylike and dwarfishly diminutive height, small man syndrome manlet rage-induced halfling half-truths about how the silly manlet boy could totally fight against a towering manmore and how the minuscule midget manlet definitely wouldn't immediately pass out and girlishly pee his pipsqueak, pint-sized, peewee pants, as well as massively delusional manlet cope about how the subhumanly stunted Oompa Loompa Ewok manlet is actually a happy hobbit because clothes cost less in the children's section and that he can convincingly cross-dress and pass as a women whenever the petite and effeminate sissy manlet desires to do so in order to turn tricks to afford his daily fix of step stools and booster seats (especially since he has a closet full of high heels at home anyway). Short people got no reason. Manlets rise up!

Allison: Manlet detected. Isn't that the tall tales telling turbo-manlet Tiny Todd "Toxic Homunculus" Howard over there? Maria: Damn, I forgot my magnifying glass! Let's have a closer look. Allison: Oh, it's just a particularly petite garden gnome! Maria: Manlets rise up!

by ManletDepreciator October 1, 2024

Tales from the BEJRiPyTOMBUriED

Tales from the Benningfield junior Rest in peace yard tombstone of Lonnie Benningfield junior ⚰️🪦.by lbj as in Lonnie Benningfield junior LBJAY MARCH 10th 19eightynine.

Tales from the bejripytomburied tales from the HooooBJects RELBJALOODS RELBJALEEDING RELBJALEED DOUBJRAGGIN BY LBJ AS IN LONNIE BENNINGFIELD JUNIOR LBJAY MARCH 10TH 19EIGHTYNINE.

by Lonnie Benningfield juniorshaq December 16, 2024

Cautionary tales

A cautionary tale is a story that gives you a warning or a moral lesson but do to social media and relationships it’s another form of giving people trust issues

Mike: Amy… i don’t trust Gina

Amy: why you say that?
Mike: because I saw this Tic Toker talking about this story time about him and his friends girlfriend “going” and it bothered me
Amy: Those are cautionary tales don’t take em to seriously, take caution to it, but not to the point it ruins your relationship.

by Melo2967 January 14, 2025

MuaHLONNBEaT Down tales from the bejripytomburialonnie

Lonnie Benningfield junior LBJAY beat down tales from the bejripytomburialonnie Benningfieldjr a Bemmimgfilm by lbj as in Lonnie Benningfield junior LBJAY MARCH 10th 19eightynine.

I invented and made and created and started muahlonnbeat down tales from the bejripytomburialonnie Benningfieldjr. By lbj as in Lonnie Benningfield junior LBJAY MARCH 10th 19eightynine.

by BJ tutall June 27, 2025