by chroshizzle November 11, 2008
Get the god mug.Basically the exact same thing as greek mythology, but for some reason people accept it as the truth and shrug off mythology claiming it's ridiculous. God is also a way for people to explain the unexplainable... until science makes it look like a stupid childrens story.
Mom- "Human sin came about when a snake told Eve to eat an apple off this tree and she would be all-knowing."
Kid- "I beg your pardon?"
Mom- "One time, Jesus cured a blind man by putting mud on his face."
Kid- "I beg your pardon?"
Mom- "God didn't like the world he created it so he asked a 900 year old man named Noah to build a boat to fit all the animals on it. And then it rained for forty days and nights and then the rain evaporated and they lived happily ever after. Not only that, but when the animals started fucking each other, the next generations magically weren't mutated even though they were fucking each others brothers and sisters!"
Kid- "I beg your pardon?"
Kid- "I beg your pardon?"
Mom- "One time, Jesus cured a blind man by putting mud on his face."
Kid- "I beg your pardon?"
Mom- "God didn't like the world he created it so he asked a 900 year old man named Noah to build a boat to fit all the animals on it. And then it rained for forty days and nights and then the rain evaporated and they lived happily ever after. Not only that, but when the animals started fucking each other, the next generations magically weren't mutated even though they were fucking each others brothers and sisters!"
Kid- "I beg your pardon?"
by S.N.D. October 9, 2007
Get the god mug.Apparently the almmighty being of the Universe, but why is it a GUY? Wanna know why? Because the people who wrote the bible were guys. End of story.
by Leolani July 4, 2006
Get the god mug.An invisible man created by humans to explain things we couldn't explain. Somehow most people still believe in the invisible man, and think after death you have a non physical life to live.
George Carlin on God:
Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!
But He loves you!
Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!
But He loves you!
by TornadoGordo June 21, 2017
Get the God mug.(not to be confused with "a god")
Your all-loving, fag-hating, omnipotent, watches you beat off, all powerful, genocide starting imaginary best friend
Your all-loving, fag-hating, omnipotent, watches you beat off, all powerful, genocide starting imaginary best friend
christian whitebread: How dare you speak against God?! You bastardly heathen!
atheist (or agnostic) chad: Which god?
christian whitebread: The bible one! The real one!
atheist chad: you mean the discriminating genocide starter?
atheist (or agnostic) chad: Which god?
christian whitebread: The bible one! The real one!
atheist chad: you mean the discriminating genocide starter?
by Fried_RiceBiotch May 10, 2019
Get the God mug.Biggest joke EVAR.
The worlds #1 imaginary friend.
The only stranger people trust.
The reason we have bad ass holidays like Christmas.
The worlds #1 imaginary friend.
The only stranger people trust.
The reason we have bad ass holidays like Christmas.
billy: Whose your bestestest friend EVAR?
joe: god.
billy: LOL.
joe: WAT?
billy: i said best friend. not imaginary friend. n00b.
joe: :'(
joe: god.
billy: LOL.
joe: WAT?
billy: i said best friend. not imaginary friend. n00b.
joe: :'(
by ihategodalot October 16, 2009
Get the God mug.The savior of the world! Creeator of all things, He is the kindest being in all the existance!!!! He sent his beloved son Jesus to rescue us so we can live with Him forever!!! God is the one and only thing on earth we need. So loving, how many Kings would give up their sons for us? We are never alone!!!
by Jesus luvr!!!! January 12, 2012
Get the God mug.