Jesus Platform Sandals

Magical shoes. Similar to the brown sandals Jesus wore except.. They are PLATFORM. They can make anyone sexy. Even You. (Except for Bishnas) (They are evil creatures).

Lucinda: OMG, did you hear about the new Jesus Platform sandals?
Eugene: Yes. I bought them. Now Im a sexy boy.
Lucinda: Yes, yes you are ;) Did you see bishna bought them?
Eugene: Yes.. Shes still a bishna though.

by PrayingFishChild. May 16, 2010

Holy Jesus Balls

Saying something with excitement or being surprised!

Guy:Hey did you see that baby do a back flip
You: Holy jesus balls no way!

by Swag Wolf May 11, 2016

limp dick jesus

A nick name for someone who is stupid and makes bad choices

He is such a limp dick Jesus

by Limp d. Jesus September 13, 2017

Sweet Marshmallow Jesus

A phrase used to express surprise or amazement at something.

"Oh my God, look at that!"
"SWEET MARSHMALLOW JESUS!"

by Mr. Cool Bean November 28, 2011

jesus fuck christ

What I say when something so incredibly stupid that the world stops happens.

Jesus fuck Christ, did you see that motherfucker cut me off?

by meetthetony September 10, 2005

Jesus of the Christ

Jesus of the Christ is a man who was Jesus but also a split between Christ and the two combined equal a massive orgie which is a godly magical creation - God would agree to... This is a theory within science and many soldiers of HEAVEN agree. That is the definition of Jesus of the Christ.

Jesus of the Christ capped FDR.

by christian madril March 27, 2007

jesus loves me

this is what children say after a good humping by Jesus

jesus loves me so much

by coollikesnoopy January 17, 2018