free-food fiasco

Da frequent sabotaging of one's attempts to "eat wholesome" or stay on a strict low-cal/carb diet to lose weight and/or otherwise improve his health by purchasing only "basic" and "natural" groceries; said messing-up occurs when either you get jovially invited to "consume mass quantities" by your Coneheads-appetited buddies at a party or backyard barbecue, or you unexpectedly come across some leftover/discarded food that is still safe/edible... hey, for this latter example, you absolutely HAVE to eat it, right? We can't be wasting food, now, can we, especially when there are children starving all over the world; it saves on your grocery-bill, as well. And besides, salvaged food --- by the virtue of your conscientiously not letting it go to waste --- isn't fattening, anyway; only food that either you're served or you actually go and PURCHASE adds on da pounds... everybody knows THAT!

Two classic examples of a free-food fiasco are (1) where Hagar goes out on his porch and finds a huge cornucopia of tasty rich treats labeled, "For Hagar"; he sadly remarks, "This always happens whenever I go on a diet!", and (2) where the irritable and acutely-nicotine-dependent Dr. Becker is trying to give up da cancer-sticks, but then finds several unopened boxes of them in a dumpster behind his workplace.

by QuacksO August 12, 2019

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