shitting upstream

In literal terms, it is the act of defecating against the current of a body of water because the circumstances of the situation offer the individual no other option but to poop right then and there in the river. This messy situation, having to poop while submerged in water, is exacerbated by the poor choice of the individual to defecate with his/her backside facing upstream. The current then pushes the feces back in the direction of the defecator and thus makes this already messy situation much messier. In an everyday scenario, this expression means to attempt to improve a desperate situation but in doing so, make the situation worse for oneself.
Example:

Dude 1: How’d it go with Kelly last night? You finally get to bone her before you left for school?
Dude 2: No, I made it worse.
Dude 1: How?
Dude 2: Got myself into the friend zone. I heard she was more into sensitive guys so I tried really hard to be sensitive around her. She ended up telling me I'm a really good person and we should just be friends. I was shitting upstream, man. Now there’s no chance we’re gonna bone, even when we come home for winter vacation.
by PTouch August 21, 2009
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Shit for the Cycle

Taking a shit in each bathroom of your house (minimum of 2 bathrooms) during one day. You get double points if you can do it before leaving for work.
Due to my overindulgence in alcohol and junk food yesterday, I shit for the cycle this morning.
by NBAnderson January 03, 2012
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spitting shit

speaking words and sentences that do not make sense. Usually while high on marijuana.
Dude your spitting shit i cant understand you.
by $matttttt$ March 11, 2007
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Tar Shits

A defecation that is so thick that it clings to the inside of the ass cheeks like a thick, roofing tar and requires excessive wiping to clean up. Tar Shits most often require clean up with a wet washcloth or simply disrobing and jumping in the shower so that a steady steam of warm water can aid in clean up. Clean up of a Tar Shit is often referred to as Tar Wipes.
Roger went to the doctor because he was tired of his constant Tar Shits. His doctor told him that he was consuming too much dietary fat which was making his stool sticky and greasy.
by Eaton Holgoode May 11, 2015
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paid shit

It's time for my 3pm paid shit
by crackh0 May 30, 2008
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touch of shit

Like this myth of Midas, only in a bad way. Someone with the touch of shit makes everything they touch turn to shit. Often applies to celebrities and musicians, thought can also apply to politicians, teachers and occassionally significant others.
by bigfatass September 05, 2003
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Drunk Shit

The shit you have to take the day after drinking a lot, where no amount of toilet paper will ever be enough.
"Dude, why are you walking funny?"
"I just took a drunk shit... Can I use your shower?"
by Wevet April 12, 2013
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