I'll snuggle you when you get back

What you tell your sweetie as a "bribe" for his groaningly getting out of da warm comfy bed to perform some trivial task for you.

Hot chick: Honey, did you plug in my cell-phone charger before we went to bed?
Weary dude: Ummmm --- I don't recall.
Hot chick: Well, could you possibly go and check?
Weary dude: Ohhhhhhh... honeeeyyyyy... do I really haaaaaaave to?!?? I'm dead-tired, and I just now FINALLY got comfortable and warmed up!
Hot chick (apologetically): I know, darling, and I am so sorry to ask you --- how 'bout this --- I'll snuggle you when you get back, so that you'll get warmed up again quicker.
Weary dude: Uhhhhh... oh, all RIGHT, Sugar-Plum --- since you put it THAT way. You really know the magic words to bribe me, don't you?

by QuacksO December 10, 2023

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My father and mother only beat me with materials and objects, you are lucky you that you get the empty hands: The First Juvenile Release

What I call homo-sapiens who are addicted to perianal abscesses.

Person 1: Are you addicted to perianal abscesses?
Person 2: Yes.
Person 1: My father and mother only beat me with materials and objects, you are lucky you that you get the empty hands: The First Juvenile Release

by Theusurpedmammarygland February 05, 2025

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GARY, THERE’S A BOMB STRAPPED TO MY CHEST! IT’S GONNA EXPLODE IN THREE SECONDS UNLESS YOU GET A BATH!

When you want your pet named Gary to get a bath, so you strap a bomb to your chest in an attempt to scare him in to doing it.

Robert:“GARY, THERE’S A BOMB STRAPPED TO MY CHEST! IT’S GONNA EXPLODE IN THREE SECONDS UNLESS YOU GET A BATH!”

Gary:”Meow”

(Robert explodes)

by Intruderalertredspyisinthebase August 20, 2024

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five will get you ten

... or you will lose your five! It means the odds are even (double or nothing)

Toss a coin! Five will get you ten!

by archivista January 17, 2018

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Dimes will get you dollars

Glib way of saying "There is a high probability that..." It doesn't make too much sense if you think about the way gambling odds work, but I didn't create it; I just report it.

Dimes will get you dollars that his car will break down before he gets there.

Dimes will get you dollars that she doesn't really want to change jobs.

by Al Benedict June 30, 2021

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