Strumpet Crumpet

Strumpet Crumpet A hottie and great in bed

That Strumpet Crumpet is hot and sexy

by VileGay September 20, 2023

Crumpeting

When you shove a warm, buttered crumpet up your arsehole.

Last week I caught Bogdan Crumpeting.

by Lord Pervert of Shittingswell November 18, 2023

Crumpet muffin

The thing kids say to be cool instead of saying mother fucker.

You crumpet muffin!

by Yolo beast yolo loo April 24, 2014

buttery crumpet

When you slab that butter on the crumpet and it melts all the way through to the plate.

That was such a buttery crumpet I licked the plate afterwards.

by anonymous August 18, 2022

Crumpeting

The act of a woman or person with a clitoris masturbating while laying face down.

Named after Netflix's Sex Education character Aimee, who is shown doing this in Season 1. Afterwards, she tells friends: “I’ve been wanking all night; I ate four packets of crumpets, and I think my clit might drop off."

Crumpeting is the preferred masturbation position of many people because it puts pleasurable weight and pressure on the genitals. There is also a feminist element to the celebration of crumpeting, in that a lot of porn designed to cater to the male gaze shows women wanking on their backs, legs splayed wide so that men can see everything; in reality, plenty of women prefer touching themselves in ways that are less about performing for others and more about genuinely pleasuring themselves.

"Crumpeting is my favourite way to reach orgasm. I like to lay on top of my vibrator with the duvet pulled over me, all cosy."

by CanCanOfWorms September 26, 2023

crumpet strumpet

UK old woman who sits around eating crumpets and flirting excessively online in chatrooms with anyone who will talk to her.

The crumpet strumpet was overly aggressive in chat.

by Goonie's Revenge September 23, 2023