Please do not mistake this with "Canada's Herstory"...
"Canada's History" is known as one of the highest rituals among men in that country.Atleast two men must be present for this classic competition. Directions: Make sure to lube that anus with some Maple syrup, you're going to need it. First one make male begins to perform oral sex on another. As soon as the second male is about to reach his climax, he will then turn to shoot it into the Stanley Cup. The Stanley cup is raised in the air, preferably on a coffee table. The height of which his jizz lands on the cup determines how far he must take a moose antler up the ass from the previous participant. It then repeats reversing roles. The person to get it in the cup first wins.
"Canada's History" is known as one of the highest rituals among men in that country.Atleast two men must be present for this classic competition. Directions: Make sure to lube that anus with some Maple syrup, you're going to need it. First one make male begins to perform oral sex on another. As soon as the second male is about to reach his climax, he will then turn to shoot it into the Stanley Cup. The Stanley cup is raised in the air, preferably on a coffee table. The height of which his jizz lands on the cup determines how far he must take a moose antler up the ass from the previous participant. It then repeats reversing roles. The person to get it in the cup first wins.
by Charlie Fellowship February 5, 2010
Get the Canada's Historymug. a sexual act generally performed between a man, a woman, and any non-consenting animal. though generally considered a fetish, "canada's history" is gradually entering the mainstream.
using moose antlers, maple syrup and the stanley cup as pleasure enhancers, the act begins when the man dips his cock into the maple syrup. though one might think this will be licked off by the woman, it is in fact going to be used as lubrication for anal penetration.
the woman bends over a table, and the man places the moose antlers on the woman's lower back, just above her hips. the antlers then represent an actual, physical, version of a "tramp stamp."
the man slides his maple syrup ensconced cock into the woman's anus, and the two begin a rhythmic give and take; him thrusting, her receiving. this continues until climax, where the man deposits his cum deep inside her bowels.
after squeezing out every last drop of semen, the man removes his cock and grabs the stanley cup. the woman squats over the stanley cup and shits out the frothy mix of santorum and maple syrup into it.
hockey sucks.
(the animal involved simply watches the two humans in disgust. what, did you think it was involved? pervert.)
using moose antlers, maple syrup and the stanley cup as pleasure enhancers, the act begins when the man dips his cock into the maple syrup. though one might think this will be licked off by the woman, it is in fact going to be used as lubrication for anal penetration.
the woman bends over a table, and the man places the moose antlers on the woman's lower back, just above her hips. the antlers then represent an actual, physical, version of a "tramp stamp."
the man slides his maple syrup ensconced cock into the woman's anus, and the two begin a rhythmic give and take; him thrusting, her receiving. this continues until climax, where the man deposits his cum deep inside her bowels.
after squeezing out every last drop of semen, the man removes his cock and grabs the stanley cup. the woman squats over the stanley cup and shits out the frothy mix of santorum and maple syrup into it.
hockey sucks.
(the animal involved simply watches the two humans in disgust. what, did you think it was involved? pervert.)
"stephen colbert gave sarah palin a healthy canada's history the other day. i heard he needed viagra to get hard, given that she's so fucking unappealing."
by brian q. waterman February 5, 2010
Get the canada's historymug. An act, sexual in nature, that requires the use of day old poutine gravy as a lubricant for your 3rd puck-bunny of the evening - who is also know as a hat trick.
"Hey, you guys using that poutine? 'Cause I could use a little Canada's History for when I go 5 hole on Marcy."
by Keepin' it Louis Riel February 4, 2010
Get the Canada's Historymug. A sexual act when you shave a woman's genitals then glue her pubic hair to your upper lip only to twist it into a Snidely Whiplash style mustache. You then proceed to tie her to the bed then stand by the bed side laughing mechanically as a line of men run a train on her (having sex with her one after another). Each man pulls out and ejaculates on her stomach until her entire torso is covered in semen. She is then left tied up over night until the semen dries and becomes flaky.
The entire hockey team taught her a bit about Canada's History and come morning she was glazed like a bear claw.
by BeaverDam February 4, 2010
Get the Canada's Historymug. The most depraved sexual act in human history.
During the crossing of the great Land Bridge from modern-day Siberia to Canada, man's brain was relatively undeveloped; as a result, his nerves were also undeveloped, especially involving sexual titillation. Getting a man to climax took extreme feats.
Fossils have been found of a grown man having entered a woman from the vagina with most of his lower body, having pierced her left and right armpits with mammoth tusks and using that, it seems, as leverage to move in every direction inside of her. Judging by the proximity to where the fossils were found, it seems that the woman was ritualistically waterboarded as well, perhaps to make her body convulse and writhe in order to arouse the male.
There is also evidence of using some sort of sticky substance, perhaps syrup, instead of lubrication, in order to add friction to the penetration.
Most intriguing, however, is the recent find of what appears to be a sacrificial bowl on top of a pillar, which closely resembles the modern day Stanley Cup. Judging by the premature bones found in the bowl, it appears that, in cases of extreme inability to reach climax, the male would perform the above sexual act on an infant so that there was more control over movement. When the act was finished, the semen was harvested and implanted into a mature female using moose antlers, and the infant was nursed back to health using syrup, which was the ancient's version of Advil, KY, and Elmer's.
During the crossing of the great Land Bridge from modern-day Siberia to Canada, man's brain was relatively undeveloped; as a result, his nerves were also undeveloped, especially involving sexual titillation. Getting a man to climax took extreme feats.
Fossils have been found of a grown man having entered a woman from the vagina with most of his lower body, having pierced her left and right armpits with mammoth tusks and using that, it seems, as leverage to move in every direction inside of her. Judging by the proximity to where the fossils were found, it seems that the woman was ritualistically waterboarded as well, perhaps to make her body convulse and writhe in order to arouse the male.
There is also evidence of using some sort of sticky substance, perhaps syrup, instead of lubrication, in order to add friction to the penetration.
Most intriguing, however, is the recent find of what appears to be a sacrificial bowl on top of a pillar, which closely resembles the modern day Stanley Cup. Judging by the premature bones found in the bowl, it appears that, in cases of extreme inability to reach climax, the male would perform the above sexual act on an infant so that there was more control over movement. When the act was finished, the semen was harvested and implanted into a mature female using moose antlers, and the infant was nursed back to health using syrup, which was the ancient's version of Advil, KY, and Elmer's.
"Mrs. Shepard, your husband's mind has been warped by his cruel sexual abuse as a child: it seems as though he will respond to nothing short of a Canada's History. I'm sorry. I can give you the number of an excellent divorce lawyer."
by dopplegang February 9, 2010
Get the Canada's Historymug. A sexual act preformed atop a moose. The woman inserts a moose antler into her vagina, while a man, using maple syrup as lubricant, preforms anal sex upon her anus. The moose balances on the Stanley Cup during Canada's History.
by pleased Canadian February 4, 2010
Get the Canada's Historymug. The act of dipping your stationary office pen in maple syrup, deep frying it, and wrapping it in the Canadian flag, then pushing it up your ass oriented orifice with your tongue, while rubbing maple syrup into your chest and pubic hair.
Oh man, yesterday I got paid 50 bucks by some American fat guy to do Canada's History with him. It had to be the most knowledgeable experience in my life.
by Shoomkin February 5, 2010
Get the Canada's Historymug.