Next to having little hands and little eyes, Tiny Todd "Tippy Toes" Howard is known for walking around in high heels and tellin' great big lies. His long-suffering wifelet says that he's got a little schmeckle and tiny little teeth. He wears platform shoes on his nasty little feet. When detected in public it's evident that he's got little baby legs and that he stands so low, even a child would have to pick him up just to say hello! He should get in his little car and just go beep, beep, beep because nobody cares about his deceptive manletspeak. We don't want no more tall tales around here.
Manmore 1: Oh great, Bethesda is releasing another overpriced shovelware role-playing game soon. Little Napoleon Howard promised to finally add a height slider to the character creation menu this time. Manmore 2: That's just another one of Todd Howard's tall tales! That dwarfishly stunted, petite and effeminate microscopic runt of a homunculus Ewok sissy manlet boy is way too insecure about his laughably girlish height to ever permit such a thing. Manmore 1: What a meddling manlet he is! Short people got no reason. Manmore 2: Hahahahaha!
by ManletDepreciator September 13, 2024
Get the Todd Howard's tall talesmug. Da assordid --- I mean, I mean, **assorted** --- stories of "getting lucky" dat two or more studs exchange around da card-table or at da bar-counter.
I detest listening to da miscellaneous "tail tales" of da various puffed-ego human stallions who gather at Duffy's Tavern... I mean, yeah, sure --- so maybe those hot chicks **did indeed** spread their legs for those virile crotch-cravers on those particular occasions, but what about any word of actual long-term friendships or relationships with said ladies??? Didn't those guys have any more respect or appreciation for these "willing" women beyond just their allowing said bush-hungry dudes to get in their pants??? I would rather take da time and effort to cause a gal to like and respect me as being a nice kind-hearted guy whom she'd actually **enjoy** lovingly cuddling up to and having sex wif, not just perform da simple ol' "wham, bam, thank you, Ma'am" routine wif her and then scuttle off again!
by QuacksO April 19, 2021
Get the tail talesmug. Da "unicorns and rainbows" kiddie-version of da history of da first colonists' settling in da "new world", which leaves out much of da "grim" realities of their actual "adventures", such as lack of preparedness, unwise habits, mistreating da indigenous residents, etc.
Da Salem witch-trials could perhaps be given da "grim grins" title of "Pilgrimm's Fairy Tales", as well, in dat da absurdly-preposterous "stories" dat were told about said trials' unfortunate accused were merely "fairy tale" --- i.e., largely fanciful and imaginary --- statements dat were made by da plaintiffs who were of Puritan lineage, da same as da original travelers on da "named for what comes after April showers" ship.
by QuacksO April 30, 2025
Get the Pilgrimm's Fairy Talesmug. by Frankster420 October 7, 2019
Get the Dead Man Tells No Talesmug. A term used during the US reality television show Big Brother to describe the many ailments, lies, and claims made by contestant Raven Walton.
Fellow houseguest Paul asks 23-year-old Raven Walton what her GPA was in college, and she replies, dance! Other Raven Tales include she has rough kneecap syndrome, and she regularly gets them shaved down. But her bones are disintegrating as well as her cartilage. Raven has also been diagnosed with Raven's Disease, which makes your hair follicles stop growing. She is the only person that has it, besides a family in Sweden. She also has endometriosis; oddly, for her, it causes a rash on all of her organs. She has hyperthyroidism, but the medicine she needs to take would kill her. She also has arthritis; using a Q-tip makes her cough, has an inverted spine, one ovary smaller than the other, and has had her colon removed. Through all this, prior to going on Big Brother, she was scouted for the Olympics but decided to go on Big Brother instead.
by typewhiter1 January 17, 2024
Get the Raven Talesmug. by rip-travis"tate"conditt June 23, 2023
Get the tattle tale timmug. The Pescatuga Tales are known by only a few in this world, two to be exact. These tales are the collection of dozens of child rapes, committed by two notorious figures known as the Tortuga, and the Pescado. The compilation of the tales are named after the rapists themselves, and the name inspires fear in the youth-filled communities which were attacked. These attacks began in 2019. So who were they? Well, Tortuga and Pescado both lived similar lifestyles, each brought up with a furious hatred of the school system, specifically the Spanish branch of education. They first met late in 2018 when a ghastly Spanish teacher partnered them together to solve a treacherous problem that consisted of Spanish. From then on, they became friends, and bonded over wonderful music. Flash-forward two months; they have now became good friends and in a sudden turn of events, play a game of Clash Royale together, a vicious card game which involves the annihilation of towers to succeed, much like a upscaled 9/11. They fought together, and found that they were the perfect team; they demolished all opponents before them and lay waste to countless towers. Unconfirmed sources say that Pescado first said 'we raped those children' upon winning, in a nonchalant manner. But soon, they found that they both had a love for rape, especially child rape. After countless rapes of minors, they went on to bigger game, for the children on Clash Royale could not be raped to satisfaction. They moved on to Roblox.
Again, a violent game which too is populated by children. Pescado and Tortuga found their first victim on this game, and so the first chapter of the Pescatuga Tales truly begins.
Their first victim, an 8 year old by the name of Katie, was fishing in a pool, when Pescado and Tortuga first approached her. They engaged in small talk, and then in a flash, jumped upon Katie, viciously resizing her squirming body as she screamed for help. Katie was never seen again. After Katie, they moved on to other targets, which are explored in details in the other chapters of the Pescatuga Tales. In one instance, they raped the entire elementary graduation class of 2019, and those students had been resized so badly they could not urinate or excrete ever again for all life. It is very clear that the Tortuga is a much more fearsome warrior than the Pescado, and is without a doubt, a much better person in every aspect. Every aspect. The Duo themselves have found themselves to be much closer friends and have bonded terrifically over the committing of these rapes.
P.S: Pescado hopes that the Tortuga and he could rape children in Roblox this weekend.
Pescatuga Tales:
School Announcements: Please stand for the Pledge of Allegiance. However, before we go on, please give a minute of silence in remembrance of the Pescatuga child rape sprees of 2019.
Students: *Absolute silence aside from tears dropping and sniffles as they remember the rape experience. Several students break down, sobbing.*
Their first victim, an 8 year old by the name of Katie, was fishing in a pool, when Pescado and Tortuga first approached her. They engaged in small talk, and then in a flash, jumped upon Katie, viciously resizing her squirming body as she screamed for help. Katie was never seen again. After Katie, they moved on to other targets, which are explored in details in the other chapters of the Pescatuga Tales. In one instance, they raped the entire elementary graduation class of 2019, and those students had been resized so badly they could not urinate or excrete ever again for all life. It is very clear that the Tortuga is a much more fearsome warrior than the Pescado, and is without a doubt, a much better person in every aspect. Every aspect. The Duo themselves have found themselves to be much closer friends and have bonded terrifically over the committing of these rapes.
P.S: Pescado hopes that the Tortuga and he could rape children in Roblox this weekend.
Pescatuga Tales:
School Announcements: Please stand for the Pledge of Allegiance. However, before we go on, please give a minute of silence in remembrance of the Pescatuga child rape sprees of 2019.
Students: *Absolute silence aside from tears dropping and sniffles as they remember the rape experience. Several students break down, sobbing.*
by pescado_tortuga March 20, 2019
Get the Pescatuga Talesmug.