Sometimes when you take a crap at home, you realize one of two things; 1: there is no toilet paper to be found and no one to get it for you or 2: your crap was so disgusting that toilet paper will be no match for it at all. A "Hillbilly Bidet" is when you forsake the use of toilet paper altogether, get up off the toilet and proceed straight to the shower to clean yourself off.
Dude, I got such ridiculous food poisoning that I didn't even attempt to wipe...just went straight to the shower for a hillbilly bidet.
by Poop Geyser June 26, 2011
When a person is defecating and a large splash of water caused by their poop enters the butthole at the perfect time, coincidentally cleaning it.
by poopprodigies May 23, 2023
When you have run out of toilet paper and you call your cousin Cletus or equivalent to come and do you a solid and use his stream of urine to clean your chocolate covered starfish.
“Yeah I ran out of toilet paper and I had to give my cousin a call to come and give me an Appalachian bidet to get clean.”
by Loganjaman August 16, 2023
Taking a shit and then hopping in the shower and using the shower to clean off your butthole, preferably with a jet setting.
Yeah, toilet paper is a scam. I just hop in the shower and do the ol' american bidet and then use a little soap.
by Jobungus October 04, 2023
by Mjku December 22, 2014
My colleague Josh trained his labrador to give him an American bidet--- god damn, you should see how happy the dog is afterwards.
by Khalfani Lisimba November 06, 2017
by kiefferteefer March 20, 2023