Premium wank

When you finger your arsehole whilst wanking, creating double the pleasure

Oh Ewan, I had a great premium wank the other day, it felt so nice

by Harry eade December 26, 2021

On the wank

Bitching about nothing; excessive complaining for no good reason.

"oh my co workers were on the wank today, it was doing my nut"

"I got stuck with Gary on carpool, he was on the wank about his hatred of Greenpeace supporters and then he hit a cyclist."

by Hairy Gee May 23, 2024

Flakey Bum-Wank

A deviation of the Pokey Bum-Wank where a chocolate sweet is used as a replacement for the finger. The sweet treat is inserted into the anus whilst carrying out the five-knuckle-shuffle to heighten the participants' pleasure. This may also be of benefit to those that have to take emergency action to control their blood-sugar levels due to a diabetic emergency - though there is little medical evidence to prove that this will successfully prevent the patient from slipping into a coma mid-wank.

I am feeling particularly horny having left the gym all pumped up and after observing the lycra-clad lovelies that were also working out. However, I have unsuccessfully kept control of my blood-sugars and need to take urgent action. I think I will kill two birds with one stone and have myself a Flakey Bum-Wank.

by normanstanleyfletcher April 5, 2025

dodgy wank

An additional level of risk to a 'Danger Wank'.

You do the same as a danger wank but have to watch some weird fucked up porn, so if they do catch you it's way worse.

"Dude I'm grounded for 6 months and have to go to therapy because I failed doing a dodgy wank"

by Mrs Pearley November 1, 2021

wank block

The random things that happen when you‘re just trying to wank. Especially in combination to watching porn. Doesnt matter if you‘re just starting or already in the midst of it, something just has to happen to stop you.

I was starting to wank when all of a sudden I receive 10 messages, 2 emails and then there is even an incoming call from my mum. I havent gotten any notifications all day until now! Typical wank block!

by xyz1999 October 1, 2020

Wyatt Wank

When a male person is jacking off and their unnecessarily attractive mother comes in and finishes them off.

Wyatt was masturbating until his hot mom came in and performed the Wyatt Wank.

by _Hrob_ March 20, 2023

Debrief Wank

A "debrief wank" is the post-mission solo celebrational personal victory lap after an evening of sexual activity or romance, where you give yourself a standing ovation or high five for a successful mission 'a job well done' in the field of pleasure - the grand finale to a night of shared exploits, "the solo encore to a duet of delight".

So, you know that night with Ellie? Well, I had to wrap it up with a debrief wank when I got home, like a way to commemorate a successful evening.

by Japseyelicker123 April 9, 2024