Snake Oil Jesus

noun: The person usually relied upon to achieve what amounts to a miracle when given impossible circumstances. This person is often found in a workplace, is underpaid and overworked, and usually ends up going postal. Also referred to as a 'discount miracle worker'.

Boss: "Jimmy, I need you to compile the last 3 years of P&L statements for the board meeting in 30 minutes."
Jimmy: "Right! What do I look like, some Snake Oil Jesus?"
Boss: "I knew I could count on you to come through. See you in 30!"
Jimmy: *sigh*

by Jaq Lemur December 9, 2008

Jesus Tit Fuck

Getting Tit Fucked and cumming on her chin giving her the grey beard of an old Jesus.

Man her rack is so firm I'd want to give her a Jesus Tit Fuck

by The_Lion_Tamer July 12, 2011

Holy Shittin' Jesus

What my Jewish grandmother used to say. Like, when she was sewing.

"Holy Shittin' Jesus - I just dropped another button!"

by Sean Brian Kirby October 8, 2005

pickled Jesus candles

Those tall jar candles with the bizarre, often gruesome, Catholic iconography on the outside of the jar. Usually found at Mexican markets, religious gift stores, and the ethnic food section at the supermarket.

Shop 'n' Rob in Bay Point has a great selection of pickled Jesus candles.

No, I'm not Catholic, I just like pickled Jesus candles.

by Dr. Badwrench July 12, 2007

jesus on a stick day

food friday (when jesus died)

happy jesus on a stick day!

by nothing_911 April 13, 2007

Jesus's fuck thang

The organ that Jesus used to fuck all those bitches. That's why there are so many Christians in the world.

Jesus wipped out Jesus's fuck thang so much, even the son of god got chaffed.

by Big Baby Jesus October 1, 2004

jesus birthday sex

An excuse to do the dirty on christmas day. May be used to avoid the wrath of God for sinning on his son's birthday.

John: Are you free tonight? I need a little christmas lovin, if you know what I mean...

Jane: I'm not sure God would ever forgive me.

John: Don't worry, it's jesus birthday sex. He'll take it as a compliment that we are celebrating His birth.

Jane: Ok! Let's do it!

by Jbislollipop23 December 26, 2009