Flakey Bum-Wank

A deviation of the Pokey Bum-Wank where a chocolate sweet is used as a replacement for the finger. The sweet treat is inserted into the anus whilst carrying out the five-knuckle-shuffle to heighten the participants' pleasure. This may also be of benefit to those that have to take emergency action to control their blood-sugar levels due to a diabetic emergency - though there is little medical evidence to prove that this will successfully prevent the patient from slipping into a coma mid-wank.

I am feeling particularly horny having left the gym all pumped up and after observing the lycra-clad lovelies that were also working out. However, I have unsuccessfully kept control of my blood-sugars and need to take urgent action. I think I will kill two birds with one stone and have myself a Flakey Bum-Wank.

by normanstanleyfletcher April 5, 2025

Wanking Waffle Stomper

This is when someone simultaneously jerks off and takes a shit whilst also taking a shower.

Yo, did you hear about that wanking waffle stomper Timmy did last night?

by ThunderBunda April 14, 2025

EW (Executive wank)

Knocking one off at work on company time and hence being paid to do so.

Haven’t seen Ro at his desk for a while, he must have ducked off for an EW (Executive Wank) after we had that chat about boobs

by Executive Shitter May 20, 2025

Anne Wank

The act of masturbating while hiding from police searching your house for you.

What are your weekend plans Harry?
“Just going to swat myself and have a Anne Wank”

by Masturbator No.1 May 29, 2025

Ukrainian Finger Wanking

Ukrainian Sport involves jerking fingers in a circular motion to make the other finger yield.

I love being the submissive one in Ukrainian Finger Wanking

by Ephraim June 7, 2025

Crouch Wank

When you receive an unsolicited video of someone crouched down, so low you can see their goofy, in front of a mirror jerking it and blowing their load on said mirror.

Omg I just got a crouch wank from Louis on snap!!

by JamesBr November 30, 2023

wee b4 wank

when you piss before having a wank so that you don't piss yourself

John: "Hey bro wanna have a wank 1v1, you know the rules!" Andrew: "Sure man but wait a sec I need to wee b4 wank."

John: "Oh shit go for it, this isn't a golden shower."

by bluscouttf2 December 9, 2023