Pyjama Turtle

Someone who uses protection after they already have protection because they are a paranoid pillock.

"So did you do it?"
"Yeah but he had 3 condoms on, such a pyjama turtle"

"Maybe i should bring extra, just in case"
"Dude don't be a pyjama turtle"

by Pyjama Turtle November 19, 2011

Turtle with a 12 pack

A turtle that is always trying to knock you out with a person with a buzz cut whose head is always cold

person1 Dude i got hit by a turtle with a 12 pack today it sucked
person2 that sucks

by Oassis__ May 09, 2019

Pettin’ the Turtle

A situation when one takes an incomplete shit, leaving a protruding “turtle head” behind. The shitter then must pet the lodged turtle head approximately 70 times with toilet paper or moist wipes, shitter’s choice of course.

Mary was pettin’ the turtle for a solid hour after the lunch special at Benihana.

by Daddylongdick813 October 30, 2019

Wet Turtle Cream

(verb) when a man makes a pan of delicious brownies, and immediatly upon removal from the oven, inserts his dick directly into the center of the steaming hot brownie pan then immediately sticks his erect dick into ice cream.

"Hey Greg, would you like a brownie? They are fresh and very hot."
"Sure, I'd love one...Wait, what the hell? Why is there a hole in the middle of the pan of brownies?"
"I wet Turtled them."
"Oh Fred, you scank!"
"Ginkies Greg! All I did was wet Turtled them... hey do you have any ice cream?"
"Why yes Fred we have some cookies and cream, would you like some?"
"Yes sure, bring it over I will scoop some for us."
"Ginkies Fred I can give you an ice cream scooper, why are you scooping it with your dick?"
"Um duh Greg haven't you ever heard of a wet Turtle cream? Creme de la crem dude."

by Orange Kookaburra September 03, 2022

wet turtle

When you must fart and suspect it's only gas but instead a wet blob of poop blasts into your to trousers, the poop was hard on the inside but had a shield of poo juice around it, the whole poop is yellow or green so it looks like a liquified turtle 🐢 which is rather upsetting and embarrassing...

Man in Restaurant: 'Hey babe look out imma rip a silent but violent right quick while no one's looking.'
Woman in Restaurant: 'Ok bae let er rip!'
Man in Restaurant: 'ah fuck babe now I gotta run home and change pants I blasted a wet turtle and it's messy!'

by Stankbiscuits November 21, 2021

Turtle time

The immediate need of a bathroom for the purpose of expelling a bowl movement which has already begun it's exit. Resembling a turtle head poking out. Reference Austin Powers as Fat Bastard in "the spy who shagged me"

I been needing to poop but can't wait any longer! It's Turtle time!

by Stygmatik November 28, 2019

flip a turtle

as an order of respectfully telling someone to shut up

It’s that Jared told Kim to go flip a turtle the other night in front of all of us.

by jjloza June 13, 2022