hog turd

A euphemism for a playing card bearing the number three. Why three's? Hog turds weigh three pounds.

Grant skillfully peels off cards in succession to all the players around the table while saying, "Five-card draw, hog turds are wild."

by FubarrFromGB January 1, 2023

turd driver

Another term for plunger

Person a: where is your turd driver
Person b : what
Person a: plunger A PLUNGER

by Binickle May 24, 2016

Turd Perfect

As good as things can get for a piece of shit

Friend: Life is fucking awful

Other friend: for you, they're Turd Perfect

by CatherineWilsonisAFatCunt January 26, 2017

Turd tugger

When you’re taking a dump in an automatically flushing toilet and it starts flushing mid turd and the water starts pulling your turd out of you

Dude I had a mean turd tugger in the bathroom on the second floor

by Jjacob71 November 14, 2018

turd bib

Laying down a layer of asswipe in the toilet before taking a shit, greatly reducing the possibility of leaving skid marks.

Before blowing an O-ring at my girlfriends’s house I put a turd bib in the toilet bowl so no residual will be left behind.

by D’Quantavious Smith February 11, 2025

Turd Culprit

Someone who uses the toilet brush to force their turd down and leaves chunks of shit on it!

I just about vomited all in the girls bathroom... I was cleaning the toilet and the toilet brush was covered in shit! It was aweful.. That damn turd culprit strikes again!

by Turdo maestro July 31, 2021

last place at a turd eating contest

Beyond mere failure, the absolute pinnacle of loserdom.

Amy didn't just fail, it was more like she got last place at a turd eating contest.

by Goat Milking Contest Winner. December 12, 2012